User:Mcwright1981/Empty World/Etaylor6sfsu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mcwright1981


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Mcwright1981/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Empty World

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead has been updated to be more concise and removed information in the original that was not needed to introduce the article.

The article is easy to read and the organization of the page has been greatly improved from the original. Apart from some sections of the plot appearing a bit vague, the plot remains pretty detailed.

There are no added pictures apart from the one that was already in the original, but being that it's a shorter article, another one doesn't seem necessary unless it supports a reference or something along those lines.

The information taken from the introductory lead was moved to a newly created section on the bottom of the page. This really improved the structure and organization of the article due to it filtering the information into titled sections making it easier to find and read. The added sources are also relevant and support the information provided.

This is a really strong draft! The article updates are strong and add more substance to the article, which is great! Some minor improvements that may help the article succeed further would be to alter some of the introductory sentences to be a little less choppy, but their content itself is great! Also, although the plot section is easier to read due to it being condensed, it does seem a little more pared down compared to the original and it left out some details that might be important for understanding the story; however, the structure of the plot section is improved!

Overall, wonderful job!