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"A Plan Is Hatched and a Date Is Not a Date" is the second episode of the IFC and More4 television series The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret.

Plot Summery
The episode opens on a dream Todd(David Cross)is having. An English guard gives him a scone, Dave(Blake Harrison) treats him with respect as he runs a successful business, and Alice(Sharon Horgan) welcomes him into her restaurant dressed quite provocatively. Unfortunately, Todd then wakes up in his dirty apartment in soiled clothes to the sound of a ringing phone. Dave calls him down to the office, and Todd’s neighbor Pam(Sara Pascoe) comes in with her children.

Todd then goes to Alice’s café, where she admonishes him for selling an energy drink whose Korean warnings translate to “bad sanitation – caution to proceed with beverage”. Todd feels bad for breaking so much at her café the night before so he buys thirty-two large breakfasts to make up for it, which she sends him with in large plastic bags. He also agrees to cut a check for the rest of the damages.

Todd goes to his office, where Todd informs Dave that he’s going on a date with Alice. Dave hands him a company checkbook and mobile phone and informs Todd that Brent Wilts(Will Arnett) had called and will be in London in a few days. Todd, worried about making sales, asks Dave for a small, local grocery store to sell Thunder Muscle to. Dave recommends Sainsbury’s, and Todd tells Dave to stock their shelves at half price. Dave then recommends a place for Todd to buy new clothes in order to look like a “proper English gentleman”.

Todd then goes to Ahmet and Sons, a convenience store seemingly run by a Turkish family. He buys condoms and tries to sell them Thunder Muscle, to which they get very excited. He meets Mehtap(Zahra Ahmadi), a young woman who Todd is immediately attracted to.

Meanwhile, Dave goes to Sainsbury’s and clears out a shelf of competing energy drinks to stock the shelf with Thunder Muscle. This causes some issues, as when the cashier tries to scan one, the register alerts her to contact the national authorities.

Todd then meets Alice at the pub, the Hand and Cock. Although Alice just wants her money, Todd convinces her to stay for dinner. Alice tells Todd that she wants to get a liquor license, to which Todd assures her that he can get her one with only a few phone calls. Dave then calls Todd to tell him that Sainsbury’s is upset over selling a toxic beverage, the Thunder Muscle. Todd then directs Dave to threaten Sainsbury’s with legal action in order to impress Alice.

Alice, having had a better time than she anticipated, agrees to stop at Todd’s apartment to use the restroom. She sees some gifts that Todd had bought her, including chocolates and condoms, and leaves suddenly. Todd’s neighbor Pam fakes labor pains in order to get Todd to go to the store for her. He goes to Sainsbury’s, sees how large a store it actually is, and promptly urinates himself in fear.

Meanwhile, Todd’s apartment in Portland, OR is full of animals dining on the tuna he left out for his cat.

Todd's Lies

 * Todd lies about having gave blood to explain his behavior the night before.
 * Todd lies about his father's death.
 * Todd lies about having spent time in a hospital in Leeds as a child.
 * Todd lies about making sales of Thunder Muscles to Brent Wilts.
 * Todd lies about having a girlfriend.
 * Todd lies about being able to procure a liquor license for Alice.
 * Todd lies about being allergic to nuts.
 * Todd lies about the purchases he made for Alice.

Cultural References

 * In the beginning of the episode Todd is in police custody being read a list of charges that includes:
 * Child endangerment
 * Espionage
 * Embezzlement
 * Persistent public urination
 * Impersonating an English gentleman
 * Dave uses Google Earth to check out Todd's story about growing up in Leeds.