User:MelCarruthers/Environmental impact of iron ore mining/EBCarleton Peer Review

General info
MelCarruthers
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:MelCarruthers/Environmental impact of iron ore mining
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Environmental impact of iron ore mining

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * The lead reflects the overall topic of the article, and is concise.

Content

Overall the sections need to be rearranged for consistency.


 * The order of the "Iron mine tailings" and "Mining and processing" sections would make sense to be reversed, since tailings are the result of processing so it makes sense to explain processing first. Additionally, the tailings section could be expanded on to not only describe what elements are found in tailings, but also to explain how tailings are formed by connecting back to points in the "Mining and processing" section.


 * Beyond moving the "Iron mine tailings" section after the "Mining and processing" section, it would perhaps make the article flow better to move it under the issues header, since the "Air quality" section under this header discusses emissions that are byproducts of mining and processing, as are tailings, so these topics should somehow be in the same part of the article.
 * The "Megafauna" and "Water quality" sections could be grouped together and the "Environmental Assessment" and "Public Safety" sections could be grouped together rather than all being mixed together, since the first two are discussing the environment and the second two are discussing management.

Tone and Balance


 * The article is very scientifically-worded and based in fact, so it is very neutral.

Sources and References


 * The references include a large number of scientific journal articles, while also drawing on government sites and mine company sites, overall the sources of this article are very well rounded and extensive, and most are very recent.

Organization


 * The content is broken down into sections that make sense, they just need some rearranging as discussed above.
 * The article is very thorough which makes it quite long, a couple sections that could be made more concise to keep the reader engaged to the end are "Public Safety", and "Environmental assessment". The "Environmental assessment" section goes into a lot of specific detail that could instead be covered by a short description and linking to the Environmental Impact Assessment Wikipedia page. The first two sentences in particular could be shortened and supplemented by linking to the Environmental Impact Assessment Wikipedia page.

Images and Media


 * A suggestion for an image to include is one of iron mine tailings, to enhance the description given in that section. Another is an image or multiple images of overviews of iron mines in general. The existing photo at the top of what appears to be a mine focuses more on the piece of equipment in the photo, so it doesn't serve to show what an iron mine looks like.

Overall Impressions


 * Very extensive, thorough article, with lots of relevant and useful information.
 * The paragraphs added at the beginning of the article that describe iron ore provide much-needed foundational information that was missing in the original, this is makes it much easier to read.
 * As discussed above the only major suggestion for improvement is to rearrange the sections of the article for better flow, but the sections themselves are well-written.