User:Melinab21/Medical volunteerism/AB.cal Peer Review

General info
Avrillarios (shared article with Melinab21)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Medical volunteerism
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * User:Melinab21/Medical volunteerism
 * User:Avrillarios/Medical Volunteerism

Evaluate the drafted changes
Melina:

The original lead section of this article was definitely lacking context, the additions to this section are neutral and informative! (Not sure if citations would be needed here or not.) I think the addition of a "History" section adds much-needed context to the article! I would suggest revising the tone of the sentence that describes colonial/Christian beliefs to be more neutral, and avoid using quotes if possible (as recommended by the trainings). Sources should probably be added to the first sentence, and the statements in the second half of the added paragraph. I would also suggest breaking the additions into two paragraphs for easier readability.

Avril:

Overall your addition to the ethics section is well-written and cites adequate sources! However I am finding it to be a bit too essay-like for Wikipedia, especially at the end where you make this claim: "By implementing responses to criticism, the effectiveness of medical volunteering can be shifted to best suit the community at hand." I would recommend revising the diction and sentence structure of your additions to make it sound less like you're trying to make an argument. There are similar unsupported claims made throughout the addition; I would recommend either adding sources to these or removing them.