User:Melissaoai/Women in Hawaii/Jzaragoza23 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Melissaoai


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Melissaoai/Women_in_Hawaii?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

This article included many important changes that could potentially help others understand and view this I a broader way base don the example and references that were examined. The examples and references were straight forward and introduced us with the main points. The lead and the body are great examples and have the complete information included to reveal the main problem. However, something that could have been done in this article is explain more about the problem or how it can be changes, or relates to society and to todays society. This is important because it will allow us to paint a picture and view it in our own point of view while learning something that can still be affecting your society in many different ways. The strength of this article is that they added enough references and ideas that explain the original article. The article does not seem as if it was complete, just some minor facts being added to the information already said. This article does follow the same concept and representation of other articles that are similar but has little edits. The article does not include any images or or media that enhance this topic specifically. Overall, I believe that this article did a great job expressing the ideas but needed more references to support their changes. - Jessica Zaragoza ~