User:Melonology/Episcopal Conference of Latin America/JWesleyPowell Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Melonology


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Melonology/Episcopal_Conference_of_Latin_America?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Episcopal Conference of Latin America

Evaluate the drafted changes
Wording and tone are absolutely spot on. The length and structure of sentences are good for the most part, and concise. A perfect Wikipedia, encyclopaedia tone is struck with a good attention to detail. Additionally, the formatting of splitting paragraphs is done well, and with great flow. There is also a great variety of sources to back up the information provided, and they all appear to be adequate and suitable for this kind of writing. To my knowledge it is all accurate also.

Additionally, these sources are varied in perspective and date/time. This is particularly useful in providing a mixture of opinion and variety of bias.

What I would say, is that there are some minor formatting errors and slightly awkward sentence constructions which are rare, although still need addressing in the interest of publishing good work. In particular this sentence reads poorly, and could perhaps benefit from being split into two.

"From 1959 to 1964, under Miguel Darío Miranda y Gómez as president, the organization had two sub-departments -- Catechetics and the Committee on Faith; in 1965, with Manuel Larraín as president, the organization operated with nine: Education, Lay Apostolates, Liturgy, Pastoral of CELAM, Public Opinion, Semiñaries, University Pastoral, Vocations and Ministries, and Social Action."

Perhaps removing the second colon may work? Or is there a missing word somewhere? Either way not a big deal, and just a minor change. In addition to this, some words are capitalised once and then not again, while others are left uncapitalized throughout despite being the same type of word as other capitalized terms. As above, not a big deal, but for consistency's sake may be worth changing.

All in all, really really really good!