User:Melvinpritchett/Box jellyfish/McKaylaOdum Peer Review

General info
Melvinpritchett
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Melvinpritchett/Box jellyfish
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall I think the content you added in the body paragraph is good, and adds to the article. However the information you added needs a lead paragraph to show what the article will be about as well as what you are adding.

 Lead: 

* No lead*

- There does not seem to be a lead paragraph. You just went straight into discussing the body paragraphs. Make sure that you formulate a paragraph that introduces what this article will be discussing.

- Since there is not a lead paragraph, therefore the new content was not reflected. Yes, there is new information, but it was unclear that it was new because the Detection and Distribution paragraphs are body paragraphs.

- There is not introductory sentence, it just starts with the main content of this article.

- No detail information about what the article will be discussing.

Note: Make sure for your final draft that you include a lead paragraph, this can also be in with a pre-existing one. The lead paragraph is important to allow the audience what the article is going to be about and what type of information it will contain. It also is important for the peer review process because it allows the editor to know what you added and the information about that topic.

 Content: 

- The information you added in the Detection paragraph is relevant to the topic of Box Jellyfish, however there was some unneeded information. (See bullet #1 on the section  Paragraph: Detection )

- The final paragraph that was added in the Distribution paragraph, it needs to be arranged a little. The original author said something about the three species found in Hawaiian waters, that should be a new paragraph with the paragraph that starts with "Recently in 2023...", this would ensure that the information flows well.

 Tone and Balance: 

- I think you did a good job of not sounding biased and keeping a neutral tone when writing your article.

 Sources and References: 

- Make sure to look at sources #6 and #10, there seems to be some sort of error in the references.  Paragraph: Detection: 


 * 1) Why did you find it relevant to discuss where they are found, and have they vary in abundance when it come to talking about how to detect them. This should have been a separate paragraph.

 Paragraph: Distribution: 

 Paragraph: Reproduction: 
 * 1) The title of this body paragraph on my side says Distribution[edit], make sure to remove the word [edit].
 * 2) The information in the paragraph detection that says something about where the jellyfish live would be useful in this paragraph, as well as a lead paragraph.


 * 1) You stated, "Continuous research needs to be conducted to determine if box jellyfish are semelparity or iteroparous, or if it is species dependent.", this is not very helpful for the article since it not scientific data, or proving a further point so I would not leave it in the article.