User:Mesopotamianqueen/Ray Oldenburg/Jenkennings Peer Review

General info
Mesopotamianqueen
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ray Oldenburg:

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead: well-written and provides a good sense of who Oldenburg is.

Personal life: it is great that you added this section. The information is delivered clearly and concisely. I would avoid state abbreviations, like MN.

Academic career: can you add anything about his courses or research while being a professor?

Philosophy: The first sentence could use clarification. Philosophy section could generally be expanded upon.