User:MewMobile/Patricia Gregory/Sunflowerblue Peer Review

General info
MewMobile
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:MewMobile/Patricia Gregory
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Your lead is off to a great start. It provides great introductory material on your subject. However, the first sentence is very long. See if you cut it to two or three separate sentences. Furthermore, you included a short section on Gregory's personal life. I would recommend expanding on that and maybe even make it its own section.

Content

The content is relevant to the topic and deals with Wikipedia equity gaps by addressing women's football teams in the United Kingdom.

I'm a little confused when you say "This growing popularity concerned the FA because they had no control over the huge sums of money raised." It is not clear why raising large amounts of charity money would be concerning to the FA.

"Hobbs and Gregory would later work together to establish the WFA in 1969." Instead of foreshadowing to something in the future, I would cut this out here and just talk about when they work together later in the article. This disrupts the chronological flow of your article.

"Gregory has actively expressed her dislike for the taking over of the FA, pointing out that it does not acknowledge the decades of work and longer history of the women's game" The tense of your article changes here, I would change the word "has" to match the rest of your article.

There seems to be a gap between your second and third paragraphs in "Feminist efforts in football" time wise. In the second paragraph, you leave off talking about the 1921 ban and do not mention much of what is going on until 1969 in the third paragraph.

Otherwise, great job on the content of your article! I learned a lot about Patricia Gregory.

Tone and Balance

The written content is neutral and does not appear to have heavily biased claims.

Sources and References

The content seems to be well-cited with relevant and scholarly sources. The only source that I was unsure of and would double-check the second one on inews.co.uk.

Organization

The article is well organized. The only thing I would recommend is to include a section on her personal life as previously mentioned.

Images and Media

There does not seem to be any images. Although not required, an image of Patricia Gregory may be useful in engaging readers and helping them visualize the subject of your article.

New Article

The article does meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements and includes sources from archives, books, and articles. It also links to other articles making it more discoverable.

Overall Impressions

This article was a great addition to Wikipedia. You provided detailed information on the setbacks faced by women players in the United Kingdom. Besides the previously mentioned changes to make, I don't think you need to do much else.