User:Mfili5/sandbox

Hi Kirby,

Below are my critiques of your work on the October Revolution article. Please share them with your partners!

Many of these citizens would take place in crowd violence where groups of people would carry out prosecution and executions for those who had committed crimes, often completely ignoring police. I don’t know what you mean by this sentence. Please rephrase.

You’re responsible for improving this page, so you have to do more than add [citation needed]. Find a citation or replace the information with information of your own. Besides your addition, the paragraph By October 1917, there had been over 4,000 peasant uprisings against landowners…that they did not recognize the authority of the Provisional Government and would not carry out any of its commands. needs to be cited or removed.

Posters were pinned on walls and fences by the Right SRs Abbreviations should be explained in parenthesis after the full term. Otherwise expand to “socialist revolutionaries”

There are reports that the Provisional Government has not conceded defeat and are meeting with the army at the Front. Change to historic past tense

Cossacks enter Tsarskoye Selo on outskirts of Petrograd with Kerensky riding on a white horse welcomed by church bells. Should be past tense

On 2 November 1917 Past tense

Of the mandatory delegates, one one and seven were women, respectively. Difficult to understand. Expand, only one of the Bolsheviks and seven of the SRs

Therewhile Soviet Russia recognised the Executive Committee of the Soviets of Estonia as the legal authority over the province, although the Commune controlled only the capital and a few other major towns. I can’t make sense of this sentence

Add citation or remove the [citation needed] info

“These Western Historians” - can you find at least some examples of the historians and historiography referred to in this paragraph?

Assault on the Winter Palace - correct passive voice in paragraph

*** Address [citation needed] tags in info box, lead paragraphs***

Good work so far. Have a great week!

Cassandra DellaCorte

For Unrest by workers, peasants and soldiers in October Revolution (revised)

Throughout June, July, and August of 1917, it was common to hear working-class Russians speak about their lack of confidence and misgivings with those in power in the Provisional Government. Factory workers around Russia felt unhappy with the growing shortages of food, supplies, and other materials. They blamed their own managers or foremen and would even attack them in the factories. The workers blamed many rich and influential individuals, such as elites in positions of power, for the overall shortage of food and poor living conditions. Workers labelled these rich and powerful individuals as opponents of the Revolution, and called them words such as "bourgeois, capitalist, and imperialist.”

I plan on fixing the "needs citation" in October Revolution and hope to find sufficient sources for that.

Cleaned up grammar in Unrest by workers, peasants and soldiers in October Revolution.

Fixed a citation needed

Replaced a "citation needed" about Allied occupation in Russia following the civil war

More content for Planning (Insurrection)

At the Committee meeting, Lenin discussed how the people of Russia had waited long enough for “an armed uprising”, and it was the Bolshevik’s time to take power. Lenin expressed his confidence in the success over the planned insurrection. His confidence stemmed from months of Bolshevik buildup of power and successful elections to different committees and counsels in major cities such as Petrograd and Moscow.

Addition to Unrest by workers, peasant, and soldiers in October Revolution

Workers were able to organize these strikes through factory committees. The factory committees represented the workers and were able to negotiate better working conditions, pay, and hours. Even though workplace conditions may have been increasing in quality, the overall quality of life for workers was not improving. There were still shortages of food and the increased wages workers had obtained did little to provide for their families.

Removed a "dubious" tag on a citation because the source is reliable and relevant.

Removed citation needed about casualties in the October Revolution and added relevant source.

Removed a sentence on the etymology since there was a citation needed tag since 2013.

Added new style date to Insurrection.