User:Mgmari19/English-language learner/Ngdana Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * user: Mgmari19

Link to draft you're reviewing

 * English-language learner draft


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * English-language learner

Lead
I loved the lead! It was a great introductory paragraph that cover all the topics in the wikipedia article. I really appreciated the neutrality because it helped maintain the encyclopedia voice!

The lead includes a clear introductory sentence that defines what ELL is. The lead currently defines ELL, the factors that influence ELL achievement, and the methods that are utilized to teach ELLs. However the opening sentence is missing a citation. If you can't find a citation that specifically defines ELL as stated, you can alternatively cite multiple sources who's overarching argument on ELLs is your definition. I wanted to suggest moving the last sentence "Some educational advocates classify these students as non-native English speakers or emergent bilingual" to the beginning of the lead, preferably after the first sentence. This would make the paragraph flow better since the paragraph start by defining what an english language learner is. In addition there is only one citation for the sentence that I quoted, even though the sentence starts off with "some educational advocates" indicating multiple citations that state this.

"Several methods have been suggested to effectively teach ELLs, including bringing their home cultures into the classroom, involving them in language-appropriate content-area instruction, and integrating literature into their learning programs" needs a citation. This will answer the "who" as in who suggested these methods. If you can't find one source that suggest all these methods you can cite a few sources, maybe one per suggested method!

I also wanted to suggest either editing "The instruction and assessment of these students, their cultural background, and the attitudes of classroom teachers have all been found to be factors in ELL achievement." There isn't anything particularly wrong about it, but the main article suggests that within the listed categories there are characteristics that limit ELL's abilities. I would state something about the limitations. This will also enhance the neutrality of the article.

In addition, the lead should mention something about the last part of the article "Strategies for supporting English language learners in the classroom." It will tie everything in the article together.

A lead should summarize the whole article, so I would suggest just taking main concepts of each sub-heading and making sure it's incorporated in the lead.

Article Body
The opening sentence is factual and has encyclopedia voice, however it is missing a citation. I would also briefly define the objective of Mark LaCelle-Peterson's and Charlene Rivera's study so the readers know how ELL came about in the process of their study. In addition the opening sentence is a little long so I went about splitting it up. I was a little confused on what "including both limited and higher levels of language proficiency" meant. I think having this phrase as its own sentence and add more to it will help with the clarity.

I went ahead and split the opening sentence in your 2nd paragraph. I would suggest add more to the 1872 legislation so the readers have more factual background on the legislation since it is a big part on America's initial perspective of ELLs. I would also suggest finding a citation that states that.

The other parts maintained neutrality and an encyclopedia voice! However I think adding more citations, at least one per sentence would increase the credibility and neutrality of the article.

Other than those remarks, I thought the body was insightful!