User:Michaelammd11/Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected Area/Jiye Lim Peer Review

Overall, the article is well structured with a clear tone and direct sentences. The citations were perfect as you paraphrased into your own words. You included multiple topics such as history, goals, species in the protected area, and the future of the park. The main themes were divided into specific contents that make the readers easy to read with concise sentences and include the important information for each theme. Well done!

Your article is clear and direct. The sentences were paraphrased into their own words in an easy and concise sentence which made the reader understand and read the article easily. The tone of your article is both professional and neutral. The article is not biased toward a certain argument or a point but maintains neutrality. This makes the readers to have trust while reading your article. Also, your writing is written in a helpful and kind tone. This type of tone encourages the readers to establish their learnings while reading your text as they will also not show hostility toward your article. Furthermore, the article contains a professional tone since the writing is based on evidence extracted from reliable references. Talking about the references, to me, the references used in the article are correctly cited and seem reliable. They cited a lot of sources which are from UBC, the Canadian government, BC Parks etc. Just remember to add a Bibliography of why the references you used are reliable later on. Your article is structured with six topics: history, recreation, information about any endemic species, information about what species can be found in the protected area, climate change and ecological impacts, and park goals. Some of the topics are divided into sub-topics for clarification. How you structured the article makes the readers find things they wanted. In other words, since your article is well-structured it enables the readers to navigate your text easily. In addition, they contained all the important and notable aspects of the topic. Some include specific details, but they were needed to describe the population trend for each species. Overall, the article is well-balanced.

I can see the article addresses quite a lot of topics: Information about what species can be found and the introduction of any endemic species, information on any ecological impacts, description of the goals that lead to the creation of the protected area, and information about First Nations whose traditional territory are included in the protected area.

Starting in the cultural history section, you provided information about First Nations whose traditional and ancestral territories are included in the protected area. Introducing the linkage between the First Nations and Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected Area was a good idea as it shows the cultural aspects in the history section. But I think it would have been better if you could introduce different aspects in the history section such as the economic side or the ecological history developed in the Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected Area.

Next in the 'Information about any endemic species', it talks about two species which are Sorona Skipper and Mountain Goats. In the paragraph where the Sorona skipper is introduced, it talks about its features, habitat, and population along with the threats affecting them. In the other paragraph, you talk about the Mountain Goats as it describe their habitat, population, and threats. The description was well structured and had reliable evidence from Canada Government, and UBC. I think it would have been better if you included the picture for each species and elaborated on the population trends. Even though the numbers show the population for each species, it could be improved if it was followed by a detailed explanation of the population trend. Furthermore, as you introduced in the Mountain goats paragraph, I think it would enrich your article if you could find human threats affecting the population of Sorona Skippers.

Third, I can see you provided information about other species that can be found in the protected area. Your paragraph introduces California Bighorn Sheep, mule deer, porcupines, and Columbia ground squirrels. It talks about each species' characteristics and where they are found. I think it would be better if you could provide information about threats and population status/trends in the article. Furthermore, I think the paragraph about California Bighorn should be included in the 'Information about any species that are endemic' since you mentioned that they no longer live in many areas of the Okanagan. Thus, it would also improve your article if you could add pictures to them.

Fourth, you described the climate change and ecological impacts. This paragraph only includes the threats that can be found in nature and does not include threats that are caused by humans. If you could find the problems humans cause that threaten the Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected Area, then it would enrich your content. In addition, it would make your article better if you could provide how climate change is predicted to affect the ecology in the protected area.

Last, you mentioned the description of the goals that led to the creation of the protected area. You delivered the primary goal for the protected area and predicted the future of the Cathedral Provincial Park. I think you provided reliable evidence and wrote it with a clear tone and structure. Good Job!

I think you need to work on the 'Lead'. Compared to other paragraphs you wrote, the lead does not contain a summary or information about what you are about to discuss in the article. Instead, it only shows the location of the Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected Area. A strong lead should include an overall introduction to your article's topic. Therefore to strengthen your lead, you should include a brief description or a summary of your article's major topics.

Also, the heading of the paragraph for 'Information about any species that are endemic' and 'Information about what species can be found in the protected area' should be changed into a more concise name. The name of the topic is too long as it would be much easier to read and understand if it was short.

Through this peer review, I was able to learn the basic knowledge of the Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected Area. Also, through this peer review, I was able to look at other teams' work and find out what our team has to improve on. In addition, by learning the basic knowledge of the Cathedral Provincial Park and Protected area, I was able to further my studies and widen my views on ecology.

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