User:Michigan Historian 11/Central Argentine Railway/OaklandGrizzly Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Michigan Historian 11)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead has not been added to the updated content so don't forget to include a brief description. The content is good because it's relevant to the origin of the railway's construction and what it wa expected to do. Though perhaps you could emphasize more on the construction process. Perhaps mentioning why they chose to build it on the path it was through the cities and why it was significant. Why was it decided to role through those particular cities? Would it provide benefits? Or something like that. I think it would help explain why it would be significant. As I read the article, each of the viewpoints look a bit underrepresented, like there could be more room for more information that would emphasize each content, from the Origin, to the Construction, etc. Perhaps you ca try and include visual images that go along with what is being mentioned. For instance, maybe you can find a picture of the railroad still be built by workers, and then one that shows it completed. That way, people have a visual image of what this was like. You do a good job when it comes to organizing the detail where people know the main topics of what you're talking about. It's neatly patterned where in the beginning how it was only an idea and then how the railroad grew into actual part f society. So we can follow along to the entire story through the beginning, middle, and end. Although I like how you included sources(references), it's hard for me to differentiate which of the descriptions you acquired from other sources and those that are your own words. Try connecting the references with the statements that came from them. I just feel it'll help us know who came up with the important details. Nonetheless, it is good that you found a number of reliable sources about the railroad so we know that there is no plagiarism. It seems that you are not sure exactly of the sources you chose and if they work, so just make sure that if you do choose to look for better sources, its important to make sure their up to date with the Wikipedia requirements. Overall, I think you did a good job in your in your article with having a decent amount of information, but just make sure to expand some of the important factors. They greatly influence the logic of what you are talking about.