User:Middlebury2026/Bilu (movement)/Emmacmckee Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Middlebury2026 and Beachpineapples


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Middlebury2026/Bilu_%28movement%29?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Bilu (movement)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall impressions:


 * lot's of good information
 * thorough dive into the topic
 * font changes are distracting: italics, bold, and underline are used somewhat randomly throughout and the middle section (the 6 articles and a piece of the paragraph after) is in a different font
 * some grammatical/syntax errors, as well as typos
 * example of a run-on sentence: "The wave of pogroms of 1881–1884, called by the Jews, "Southern Storms", and antisemitic May Laws of 1882 introduced by Tsar Alexander III of Russia prompted mass emigration of Jews from the Russian Empire."

Organization:


 * sub-sections within your larger sections (History and Goals for the Movement) would be helpful to break up long blocks of text and make it more readable
 * it seems like you added a lot to the existing article's sections without breaking them up into more sub-sections
 * it might make more sense to explain the goals of the movement before the overview of it's history so readers has a sense of what the movement was up to and can situate it mentally as they are reading about the historical context

Lead:


 * lead section is only one sentence - it should be longer, summarizing the topic and giving an outline of what is to come in the rest of the article

"Goals of the Movement" Section:


 * you say that the articles were intended to present the movement's ideology to "young jews" - why were they specifically advertising to young jews?
 * the idea that it was one of the few zionist movements that focused both on personal and national revival was interesting - can you elaborate on what you mean by that?

References:


 * plethora of sources
 * diversity of authors
 * there is red font, signaling an error, in citations #6, 8, and 11