User:Mievlsu/sandboxCritique

= New Criticism (2/6/2019) to be posted =

Organization
The organization of the article is nonexistent, it contains only one category–History–apart from References. It is unfeasible to attempt to categorize all relevant information under History; moreover, the existing information within the article is not relevant to its categorical placement in History. The current organizational structure is unable to effectively convey information about the Vienna Declaration. The structure should contain categories and subcategories that address: background, the Vienna Declaration itself, the stated negative consequences of prohibition drug policies in the declaration, the drug policy recommendations in the declaration, support of the declaration, and criticism of the declaration. The article would follow a clear, logical structure if the suggested categorical additions, in conjunction to History's categorical removal, were applied.

Vienna Declaration Breakdown Addition
There is only one brief statement summarizing the Vienna Declaration's central purpose in the Wiki-page dedicated to it. The statement does not–but should−offer any acknowledgement or explanation of what the Vienna Declaration is, its two main parts, its relation to ideological drug-policy, the role of health and HIV in it, or the significance of human rights in it. The article should summarize and layout the declaration in a simple, easy to understand form, loosely based on encyclopedic methodology because Wikipedia is an informal, online encyclopedia.

= Criticisms of current article (as of 2/5/2019) =


 * Structure change needed
 * current structure does not allow for explanation of declaration


 * 1) Intro paragraph
 * 2) Background
 * 3) Vienna Declaration
 * 4) Harms of Traditional Drug Policies
 * 5) Financial
 * 6) Social and Human Rights
 * 7) Health and HIV
 * 8) Drug Policy Recommendations
 * 9) Support
 * 10) Criticism
 * 11) References

Introduction

 * "The Vienna Declaration is a document calling for the United Nations to support drug policy reform, including drug decriminalization and a science-based approach to drug policy. "
 * Only half of declaration.
 * Other half: desire for acknowledgment and addressing of the detrimental consequences the "war on drugs" has had on health and human rights. (^ improving community health and safety in Canada)
 * "It was the official declaration of the XVIII International AIDS Conference(AIDS 2010) which was held in Vienna, Austria, from July 18 to 23, 2010."
 * possible rephrase: It was the official statement of the XVIII International AIDS Conference, held in Vienna on July 18-23, 2010.
 * Added citation

Background

 * change the title from History to Background
 * "The declaration was drafted by a team of international experts and initiated by several of the world’s leading HIV and drug policy scientific bodies: the International AIDS Society, the International Centre for Science in Drug Policy (ICSDP), and the BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS."
 * directly copied from Vienna declaration website
 * looking for citation
 * statement rephrase to
 * The declaration was a communal effort by: the International AIDS Society, the International Centre for Science in Drug Policy (ICSDP), and the British Columbia Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS.
 * The declaration was split into two main parts: the negative consequences of punitive drug policy and drug policy recommendations. (https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(10)60958-0/ fulltext)
 * (ask prof: if I copy directly what the declaration part titles are and use them in this sentence and as headers, is that copyright violation?)