User:Millie Deroy/Aquamarine (gem)/Anne181625 Peer Review

General info
Millie Deroy
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Millie Deroy/Aquamarine (gem)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Aquamarine (gem)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Lead contains some information that is not included in the article such as the variety of colours and how they come to be. Creating a separate section that further analyzes the different colour varieties would help to create a more concise lead that represents the article as a whole. Discussing the more general information in the first section of the lead, such as properties and common uses would allow people looking for the basic information about aquamarine to find it efficiently. Adding a sentence about where aquamarine is found will help create a lead that represents more of the article. Lead is overall well written and the changes made help make it flow better and easier to read.

Content

Information added balances out the article and provides more information about the history, occurrence and colour properties of the mineral; sections that were lacking information before. All of the content is relevant, up to date, and builds on the article's strength. There is a high level of clarity within the article, everything added is easy to read and flows nicely. The filler words added like "however" and "fairly" help the previous information flow better and make the content more enjoyable to read.

Tone and balance

Information added is neutral and balanced throughout the article. There are no opinions stated and all the content is based on facts about the mineral. The lead is a little long compared to the length of the article but besides that all of the sections are well balanced compared to one another. Some of the information from the lead, like the mineralogy information, could be moved to create its own section, to shorten the lead.

Sources and references

References come from notable sources like books, reputable museums (Smithsonian natural history museum), and universities (such as Oxford university, Cambridge university, and university of Chicago). The links added work and one of the sources was written by a woman which expands on the spectrum of authors that have studied this topic. I would not recommend any references to be replaced because after reviewing the sources they all seem to be reputable. A source I recommend adding is: Francis, C. A.; Felch, M.; Falster, A. U.; Bailey, D. A. Rocks & Minerals 2016, 91 (1), 28–35. This source includes more information on beryl and pegmatites which is the formation place of aquamarine. This information would be helpful to add for context of the formation of aquamarine.

Organization

All of the content added is easy to read and concise. No grammatical errors and the sections are sorted nicely. The layout starts with the history of the word and then migrates to aquamarines place in the mineral world and the beliefs associated to it. This is a good flow of ideas that mesh well into one another, guiding the reader through the information without jumping around too much.

Images and Media

The pre-existing images in the article are well captioned and display good representation of the mineral. An addition of an image of the crystal structure would help those seeking out the article for the scientific information. Also, adding more information to the minerals chemical properties chart (like lustre, crystal system, crystal class, pleochroism, etc.) would further aide those in search of the mineral properties of aquamarine.