User:Mirandawesley/Postpartum depression/Dct53 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Postpartum Depression (Miranda's group)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Mirandawesley/Postpartum_depression&direction=next&oldid=1081818460
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Great job! You provide a lot of detailed information in the educational intervention/psychotherapy sections that represents a broad range of potential measures to address PPD. The content is relevant and very detailed, along with many peer-reviewed sources to support your statements. I wasn't really sure how to see the original article, but this is a positive contribution to PPD overall, because it makes sense to first read about what PPD is, its effects, then read about potential ways to address it in women.

However, as detailed as your work is, I think it could be more concise! Readers often go to wikipedia to get some quick background on the subject, so your writing could take this into account. Currently, your edits read more like an academic paper. Shorter or more straightforward sentences using active verbs are easier to skim and understand. For example, changing "Educational interventions work towards skill development and the cultivation of coping strategies for women struggling with postpartum depression" to "educational interventions can help women struggling with postpartum depression to cultivate skills and coping strategies" or something similar/more direct. Especially with topic sentences, it's important to be concise and direct; otherwise you might lose the reader's interest for the rest of the info you're providing!

Other than those general revisions for concision and clarity, this is a great start :)