User:Mitm0412/Homosexuality in the New Testament/Hazelanon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mitm0412


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mitm0412/Homosexuality_in_the_New_Testament?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Although the structure may need to be different before publicly publishing, I really liked the structure of your article for peer reviewing purposes. You did a great job at directly quoting your article then following up with immense information that helped thoroughly explain the meaning of important terms and topics on homosexuality. I also really liked how you incorporated bible scriptures into your article in order to provide text evidence. I think that’s an important aspect of this article, especially because it’s focusing on the new testament

For improvements moving forward, I would suggest structuring the article in a way that flows thoroughly. I think it’s a little choppy in terms of structure right now, but I know this method of structuring could have just been being used for the time being. It definitely helped clearly organize your ideas, which is great.

The most important thing you could do to improve your article would be simply including more references/sources. I think pulling from numerous sources and perspectives, especially for this topic, would be super beneficial and add so much more information. The tone of your article is already pretty neutral, so using more references would just contribute even more to the neutrality of it. I also did see one spelling error that needs to be fixed. In your first paragraph discussing Ethiopians, the word attachment is spelt incorrectly, but that’s just a minor fix.

One thing I can take away and use in my own article is the way you elaborated entirely on what was already in the article. You included an immense amount of information which is great, and I need to work on being more confident about my inclusions and expand more like you did! Great Job!!!

Extra Notes - You had great neutrality and balanced coverage on your topic. Great choice in topics by the way! Your sources also appear to be reliable which is always a WIN! Just be sure to add a few more of those great sources. Overall, keep up the great work!