User:Mkuulei6/Frozen yogurt/AnaHelge Peer Review

General info
Mkuulei6
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Mkuulei6/Frozen yogurt
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Frozen yogurt

Evaluate the drafted changes
On the original page where the first picture of frozen yogurt is;


 * Says the orgin is America which goes against the first thing of it being invented in England so something to change/correct when bringing that information over

History Section notes:


 * There are two back to back paragraphs saying it was invented in England, so delete one and you could decide to keep or delete “The American frozen desert chain Pinkberry is credited for allowing people to customize their frozen yogurt with toppings, while another chain, 16 Handles is credited for introducing multi-choice self-service machines.” I think it would be fine to keep it but maybe add it in the correct timeline order since the wiki page says Pinkberry was founded in 2005 & 16 candles in 2008 maybe bring that down to after you speak about the 20th century health craze
 * The Country's Best Yogurt - can link this to the wikipedia page of TCBY
 * Maybe bring more information about the increase of frozen yogurt companies,
 * adding in Menchies (they have over 500 stores),
 * or maybe Yasso is a newer company they use frozen yogurt to recreate frozen treats - yogurt bars, bites, sandwiches, etc
 * Enlightened is also a frozen yogurt brand working at selling frozen yogurt in containers at stores nationwide verses a store location of the company - each different flavor with different add ins
 * These brands started using GREEK frozen yogurt to pinpoint the new nutrition forward ice cream
 * Also thinking - ^^^ could be added under the history or you could create a new section titled something like “Frozen Yogurt in The 21st Century/Frozen Yogurt Today” and talk about how it went from these chains like Menchies taking over the states, but then they slowly died down and aren’t as present as they once were - they were like starbucks one on every corner
 * And then you can talk about the market changing (allowing ppl to consume in the comfort of their home) and the increase in the frozen yogurt brands like Yasso and Enlightened/ other brands you find like those I just personally know these brands as a normal consumer of them and see ppl rave about them
 * And here you could add like a store picture of menchies, or pictures of the products the companies sell in store

Production section:


 * I feel like the previous statements for production aren’t in need of changing as its just talking about how they produce it

Uses Section:


 * You added how it’s used in a variety of ways, and the different types of products so maybe this could be incorporated into talking about the brands
 * Also could speak how you mentioned it’s thought of as a healthier alternative how it can quickly add to the same calories/fat content with the amount of toppings
 * Maybe this section could be where you talk about those other brands and then can link those brand names to the corresponding Wiki pages on them!

Overall:


 * It’s definitely neutral, and incorporating the fact that it is seen as an healthier option but can lead to the same thing with toppings would show neutrality in it seeing both sides of it
 * It doesn’t seem that you added a lot of sources - maybe find some to incorporate I bet theres case studies at the increase in frozen yogurt spots
 * some I found that might be useful:
 * https://gitnux.org/frozen-yoghurt-industry-statistics/
 * https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/industry-reports/frozen-yogurt-market-100799
 * https://finance.yahoo.com/news/global-frozen-yogurt-market-size-123100350.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAKf29CtEtd8cZz5aFl4rrBWyR7j_Y4b6Hj-WDF71YWwaaTkbMhEq-DjuhbRC7ZWBy3V3uuQhrtxPCaTuPmh98o-tavpa-8QMS1zwzXOaIKigDv3PdnNaOJRarwIJlrS6hajB4lASF-uEcO8YD5QwF07V9fX2H4y1Izum_N-8kK4N


 * Could also maybe look at the market aspect of frozen yogurt - get numbers and incorporate them to show the 20th century craze of the healthier option to show the numbers don’t lie about this increase.
 * I think with expanding more on frozen yogurt today would increase the value of the article overall as it would explain not only the background of it but how prominent it is in our society.
 * Where you added the different forms of frozen yogurt is a strong aspect you added that I think could be expanded on like I mentioned before that would strengthen your add.