User:Mkuulei6/Frozen yogurt/Charityjoyn Peer Review

General info
Mkuulei6
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Mkuulei6/FrozenYogurt
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Frozen yogurt
 * Frozen yogurt

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? The lead has not been updated to reflect the new content, but I think it is still relevant to the article. It has a lot of information of the origins of frozen yogurt and the flavor. Maybe it can be developed by adding

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? Yes, the content added is relevant to the topic. You added much more history to frozen yogurt, which I think is great. You talked more about the development of frozen yogurt before talking about what it is like now. You also added a lot of good information about how frozen yogurt is now used in other foods and dessert.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? The content seems up-to-date, as you added information on what frozen yogurt is now like in the 21st century. I think you are missing some sources, so I think incorporating that would be good, so readers know that your information is relevant and up-to-date.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? I think the information you have added is good, but it would be great if you can restructure the "History" part of it, since the original article jumps strait from the origins of frozen yogurt to Pinkberry, which is fairly new. I think restructuring it would be better, so people can see the timeline in chronological order. I also think that there are other chains you can explore or mention aside from Pinkberry and 16 Handles. You can also add a section about how frozen yogurt exists beyond these specific shops, and are now available as prepackaged products that can be bought in supermarkets.

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? The content is neutral. They are mostly historical information about the development of frozen yogurt and their uses now. However, you do mention how they are often seen as healthier options to ice cream. I think it would be useful to add some more context and information to back that up, such as nutrition content or calories.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? I don't think I see a lot of sources to the new information you just added. I think it would be great if you can add more sources to the information you just added.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? The content is well-written and easy to read. They all support the subsections of the original Wikipedia page and gives readers more information and context. It has a good flow overall. Some minor fixes would be the change of structure in the "History" section I mentioned above.

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? The information you added has definitely improved the quality of the article, especially the history part. The previous article jumps straight from the invention of frozen yogurt to what it is like today. So I enjoyed reading more about the development of it.
 * How can the content added be improved? Content can be improved through some of the suggestions I mentioned above. Including more information about popular frozen yogurt chains would be interesting to read about. I think it would also be useful if you can talk about how frozen yogurt has been accepted and spread outside of the United States, since this article revolves around how it was found in the US and how it has developed here since. You can also add information about how frozen yogurt is now available outside of frozen yogurt chains and are accessible at supermarkets.