User:Mlncnd/Peacocking/AlexNaughton2019 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

It says my user is CKRRKQ, but the user who did the edits was Mlncnd.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Peacocking


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Peacocking

Lead
From what I can tell, nothing in the lead for the article was edited or added. With that in mind, I think the current lead leaves room for improvement. Language that is more inclusive of sexualities other than heterosexuality would make a good addition.

Content
It looks like one paragraph was added to this page. The new content suggests that peacocking may be a result of values instilled in men by the patriarchy. I think this is a very intriguing concept, but I would love to see more about it! As it stands, there are two sentences, and I believe only the first one gives us new information to consider. The second sentence seems a little redundant, but I think it could remain and be improved with some additional information like specific examples or something.

Tone
I think the tone of the overall article and the new addition remain neutral and educational. Balance seems to be fine. I don't think there is a counter-argument to be made, at least in regards to the limited information in the article at this point.

Organization
I think the second sentence reads a little rough. It's okay grammatically, but I think it could just flow a little better. Again, I think this section could really benefit from just having more content to work with.

Overall
This article was just a lead to begin with, so any addition is an improvement. I think the new content is promising and I would really love to see it develop some more!