User:Mmbennet/Anowa/Angelaadscott Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

user: Mmbennet/Anowa


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Anowa


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * n/a

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead of this article is clear and concise however remains quite vague. Towards the end of the first paragraph it says "The play is set in the 1870s on the Gold Coast, and tells the story of the heroine Anowa's failed marriage to the slave trader Kofi Ako", here is an opportunity to expand on what that story entails, I would suggest after the brief introduction to introduce sub sections that can be added to the article where you can further explain the story in more depth, such as 'plot overview' or 'basic summary'. You seem to have all of the necessary information in this section and it is good that the entire play is covered information wise, it is really just a matter on expanding.

Content:

All of the content is relevant however it should be broken into sub sections and greatly expanded on for the final draft. Under a plot overview section, a lot of the first section could be transferred to there and explored further, such as what the term city bred means in the context of the play as well as other significances. The first section could act more as an author background and and background of the play, expand more on the setting as well. Under the influences and development, underrepresented populations/topics are addressed and it is really great how an intersectional feminist perspective is brought into the context here however there is somewhat of a lean towards an argumentative side. Try to explain the ideas and concepts you have gained insight to from reading what the person is arguing instead of explaining what they are arguing, that way it stays neutral. It would also be advantageous if you added a section about the live play we watched in class and the background and pictures of that.

Tone and Balance:

Likewise under content, your second section about influences and development feels as though there is something to be proved with the use of the words 'argue; etc. The content itself is very interesting it just needs to be neutralized. The first section has a perfect tone and balance, very unbiased and true to the text.

Sources and References:

Sources appear to be reliable and there are an appropriate amount of sources. I would suggest adding sources around the live reading of the play and touch more on that, as well as expand to other resources about the intersectional feminism found in the second section because that is a very interesting and important perspective to consider when reading or watching the play. Be careful of inline citations, some are missing.

Organization:

As mentioned before the content presented is great it would just benefit from more sub sections that could lead to more research and therefore have a clearer presentation. Some sentences are quite vague and if someone had not read the play they may be left wondering what some of them mean, an increased amount of sub sections will solve this.

Images and Media:

It would be really beneficial to add images from the live reading of the play as well as the Golden Coast.

New Article:

Yes the article is supported by 2-3 secondary and reliable sources. I am not aware of all available sources on the topic however if more sub sections are added there should be an increase on sources used in order to expand on the topics. Great use of links to other articles, that is very helpful as a reader. This article would benefit from having an info box.

Overall Impressions:

For a rough draft this article is headed in a very positive direction, all of the basic information needed to complete a great article is there it just needs an expansion into the specifics of the play. The specifics can include plot overview, significance and themes, about the author and about the live play. Great job everyone I am sure you will complete a great article!