User:Mmemorablemoments/Child poverty in the United States/NP824 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mmemorablemoments


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mmemorablemoments/Child_poverty_in_the_United_States?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Mmemorablemoments!

It’s incredibly impressive that you’ve created an entire article from scratch. You’ve also done a really great job with carrying out extensive background research and finding plenty of relevant academic sources.

A couple of suggestions for possible edits:

Given that the article title that you’ve chosen, I think you can simplify you section headers to simply be “Causes” and “Effects”. At the moment, the section titles of “Effects of Child Poverty in the United States” and “Causes of Child Poverty in the United States” are redundant (as the “in the United States” portion of the article title already indicates that we are discussing a US-based context).

Additionally, it would help improve the comprehensiveness of your article to include a relevant image or two, along with a descriptive caption. Furthermore, whilst you do have links to other relevant articles in your contribution, you could also edit other related articles to have links that go back towards your article as well. This would help increase traffic to your new page (once you publish it)! For instance, I think this article would fit in very well as a child article for the pre-existing articles of “Poverty”.

In terms of style and tone, a lot of vague language has been used throughout this article, such as “many studies” or “many factors”. Additionally, there are a few statements that seem to be quite generic, such as:

“There are many studies that suggest different possibilities to lower child poverty rates”

“There are also community programs that have impacted specific communities.”

To avoid such generalizations (especially in your lead section), I think it would help to try and stick to closer referencing and in-line citations.

Overall, I think this is a phenomenal draft! I’m looking forward to seeing how you grow and expand this article.