User:Mmorales38072/Fernando Llort/Kgn.wht Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mmorales38072


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mmorales38072/Fernando_Llort?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

I really appreciate how well you are able to summarize his life, I think that some of the parts regarding his parents and siblings in this section however can be used in the personal life section as it isn't a big theme in the grand scheme of his career. I also think his birth year can be put into the lead as well.

Content:

Education:

The starting sentence to Education says that Llort had a show in France, and then the paragraph goes back to 1960. I believe the source used didn't mention his first show specifically having those influences but his work later in life, I also believe the paragraph will flow better if this is put after the section regarding post secondary education in El Salvador as he studied art after his religious studies. You also mentioned that he started in the early 1960's but in the source it says he specifically started in 1966. You did a great job with your paraphrasing as it still is to the point and not delineated or vague from the topic. The Sentence "His time in the United States of America, Llort was not satisfied with the rigid education as it restricted his creativity." is worded a bit awkwardly, maybe "While living in the United States of America Llort became dissatisfied with the rigidity of his school as it impeded his creativity".

Post Education:

This paragraph is well written out, clear and concise, however the explanation at the end of "estilo Palmeño" or Palmeno style needs a citation as it doesn't show that he created the term specifically in the source cited previously.

Artistic practice: I think it might be beneficial to reword the first line of this paragraph to include a bit more specifics as to what kind of religious motifs (like the mayan).

You forgot to link " La Palma, Chalatenango" in this section (just a heads up). The quote on the bottom should identify the writer by name, and in which publication is was produced in. the Wiki article it was taken from should have a source link to the direct quote. It would also be beneficial to find a source that relates the Naive art movement and "estilo Palmeño", I would also reword " as it did not take much technical skill to execute" because it's not that it doesn't take skill but its that the artists participating didn't receive formal training but Llort did take classes in art in the United States (mentioned in Education). I also think there is room to expand on his practice by explaining the materials he commonly uses and the parameters (if there are any) to his work.

Tone:

Your tone in this article is quite neutral, there is no bias and explains the facts provided. The topic at hand is an excellent thing to write about and will create more visibility to non European minority artists.

References and Sources:

The sources you cited were reliable and most were third party, Im glad there was only one interview used as more would become biased. I think there is just a few minor tweaks in terms of citing the creation of the art style "''estilo Palmeño" as there is no direct link to his name and the invention or coining of that style cited. The sources used are current and varied, I appreciate the use of both digital and print resources as it will broaden your research when you're not limited to just the internet.''

Organization:

The article is very clear and concise, it is organized well as a timeline of his life. I think maybe one or two sentences can be moved from the summary into the personal life section to create a more organized and concise summary.

Images:

None provided, I would love to see what you would choose though!

New Articles:

I believe the sources used are reliable third party articles, the range of different sources will be very beneficial with your accumulation of Information. The online sources are clickable and the range of references supports the facts provided.

Overall Impressions:

My over all impressions would be that this article is very close to being done, a few minor tweaks to a few sentences and expanding on his practice will create a well written article. The information so far creates a clear picture of the early life and education of Fernando Llort Choussy, there is also opportunity to expand on the influences of the Mayan culture. Specifically the figures and colours that are a result of this influence. I also think that it would be best to find that specific original article quoted at the end, although it does provide a well rounded description I believe it can be expanded on as to why the reviewer is important or reputable to the discussion of this artist.