User:Mnorymcc/Zoombombing/Charkings Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Mnorymcc, Hmonte
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Mnorymcc/Zoombombing

Lead evaluation
The Lead has sentences that are wordy run on sentences. Specifically "The term became popularized in 2020, after the COVID-19 pandemic forced many people to stay at home and videoconferencing was used on a large scale by businesses, schools, and social groups." Could be made more concise to say something like "The term became popularized in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic, when many businesses, schools, and social groups were forced to operate from remotely via videoconferencing". I also feel there could be more added to the lead. Currently it is very short and really doesn't give any information on what can be classified as Zoombombing. I think it would also be valuable to mention in the lead that Zoombombing usually comes from someone not related to the people invited to the conference. It is a good start but it could use more!

Content evaluation
This is such a relevant topic and I was so glad to see someone writing about it! You do have some repetitive sentences under the heading "Procedure" that need to be removed. You do not need to define what Zoombombing is again as you already did that in your lead. The word "procedure" I do not think is the best choice to describe how people carry out Zoombombing. Remember that your headings and sub-headings can be more than one word. On that note I think it could be valuable to split this section into sub-headings that break down timeline of actions that people carry out to commit Zoombombing. This was it can organize the article a little better and have more flow. I feel this sentence "In various forums such as Discord and Reddit, efforts have been coordinated to disrupt Zoom sessions, while certain Twitter accounts advertised passwords sessions that were vulnerable to being joined without authorization." could be elaborated on and made its own sub-heading.

Overall I think there are a lot of ideas that need to be elaborated on and looked into more. Especially something like the selling of passwords and things being publish on forums.

Tone and balance evaluation
Overall great job on the tone! The article reads very neutral and I think is one of the strongest points of the article. Bravo! You did a really great job at this considering most of your sources came from news articles which can tend to have an un-neutral tone to them.

Sources and references evaluation
This is kind of a hard one considering this is such a new topic and event. I think as time goes on more scholarly articles and resources will appear. For now I think you did the best with what you have to work with. The only thing I might recommend is as mentioned above, there are some topics and ideas that could be elaborated on, and that is where you might be able to find more scholarly articles and work. All the links I clicked on I was able to have access to.

Organization evaluation
I think overall the article would be better written. I do not think it is the most clear article yet or the easiest to read. As I mentioned early, this article needs to be broken into more sections and have those sections elaborated on.

Overall evaluation
You are off to a good start! I think you have done a great job and have left the door open for this article to be a great one. The article does not feel entirely complete, but that is because it is still a very new and developing topic. I really liked the variety of news articles you used to do research on the subject. I think there could be a little more diversity in the topics of the news articles. I think there could also be the addition of how this will impact things in the future, or what this means overall for online learning. The article lacks depth of ideas, but I know that will come with time!