User:Mollyanders/Hard seltzer/Josh Hwang Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mollyanders


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mollyanders/Hard_seltzer?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Hard seltzer

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The Wikipedia article "Hard Seltzers" is a short, but well-written article. Mollyanders added some quality, supplementary content to the end of the article. The lead was concise and thorough in presenting the topic, so no changes were made. As for the introductory paragraph in the "History" section, I feel like "Hard Seltzers have not come out of nowhere" is a bit confusing. Although I see what the author is trying to say, I think there could be a more conventional way to phrase and introduce this section.

Although the content that was added in this article was reliable and interesting to read, highlighting a single brand (White Claw) could violate Wikipedia's rule on bias toward one company. Though I understand this is an interesting fact on the most popular hard seltzer brand, I think it would be better to discuss characteristics of hard seltzers in general, rather than one specific brand's nutrition facts or statistics. In terms of the "Fermentation Process" section, I think it was a good addition to the article. Explaining the difference between hard seltzers and other types of alcohol is a good way to provide perspective to curious readers.

Lastly, I think the organization and structure of the Wikipedia article was well-written. It would be interesting to see more images and visualizations that help illustrate this topic, given that it is a concrete and tangible subject. I did not see many needs for grammatical fixes, but I made a minor edit to the last line of "Fermentation Process" to make grammatical sense. For the "See also" section, I think it is good to choose more general topics like "Hard soda", but the specific cocktails seem a little random. Would be great to have some substance on why those are in there.