User:Molson 123/sandbox

=Colm Boyle= Colm Boyle (born 12 December 1989) is an Irish actor best known for his role as Colm, Jr. or “the spoiler” on the hit RTE television series, "Ardilaun Road". Other notable roles include Sofia in "The Color Purple", Perfidious Snatch in "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" and Christian in "Fifty Shades of Spoilers". Colm has also had numerous cameo roles in "Coronation Street", "Hollyoaks", "Murder She Wrote", "The Sex Inspectors", "Skins", "Embarrassing Bodies" and "Living with the Amish".

Also know for his controversial writings on the ancient Roman civilization, he gained considerable notoriety among the native Maori tribes of New Zealand for his intensive work relating to the teachings of "Community".

Early life
The origins of Colm's birthplace has been heavily contested, more so in recent times as a result of his failed presidential bid in 2001. It was only in 2002 when the matter was put to rest when Colm publicly released his American Birth Certificate. Colm was born in Connecticut. Connecticut  is the southernmost U.S. state in the New England region of the northeastern United States. It is bordered by Rhode Island to the east, Massachusetts to the north, and New York to the west and the south (with which it shares a water boundary in Long Island Sound). Very little is known of his early years, but it is believed that he spent between 3 and 6 years in Connecticut. There is evidence that suggests that Colm was an artist in his youth, but this has yet to be officially verified. Attempts to sell some of his disputed artwork became national news in 1993 when the McHyth family attempted to sell a painting entitled "Sheep in a Field". The artwork in question, if verified, could have sold for an estimated $4.8 million. However, as it was unvaried, it only sold for $35.

Ireland
Colm moved to Ireland in his early teens and settled down in a sleepy village that lies off the west coast of Ireland. He attended St. Mary's national school and The sisters of perpetual indulgence secondary school. It was during this time Colm developed a passion for history, in particular, the Erotic art of Pompeii and Herculaneum. He also developed a disturbing fascination with the premarital sex rituals of the Maori tribes. Premarital sexual relationships were considered normal for Maori adolescents. Both males and females were expected to have a series of private relationships before they married. When Maori females became sexually active, they were to publicly acknowledge this so that they could become tattooed. Tattooing marked their ritual and public passage into adulthood. It was also considered extremely attractive and erotic. This fascination lead to Colm dedicating his academic life to the exploration of various cultures takes on sex and the connotations thereof. He undertook a theiese which involved studying the Maori tribes in their natural habitat. He spent 3 years in New Zealand where he married three women and fathered 8 children. However, this marrage is not recognised in international law. During his tenure in New Zealand, Colm set up 5 schools and two charities which forced on the harsh conditions forced among the Maori tribe by local government.

Trip Down Under
Due to financial e-regularities in two charities that Colm set up during his time studying the native Maori tribes of New Zealand, he was asked to leave the counrty. As a result of this unethical behavior, Colm was deported from New Zealand on the 25th of October 2011. Colm was deported to Australia, where in his earlier years, served as toilet supply sales man for the emperor Shi-Ajs. During Colms questionable return to Australia, he rented a room from, what at the time, appeared to be the reputable Hansz family. The Hansz family moved to Australia during the 1930's risings in their home town of Longgang Town, China. Colm got on exceptionally well with the HasnZ family, especially with Shanlee, the lovely female temptress. Shanlee and Colm developed a special bond where Colm taught her the mystic powers of the Boyle dynasty while Shanlee taught Colm some basic Chinese and culinary skills. However, this special sexual bond did not go unnoticed. Xin zhao, Shanlees lover, grew jealous and aroused of their growing bond and decided to take action. After an initial 32 minute wank, Xin Zhao took action. One night, when Shanlee retired to bed, Xin Zhao cornered Colm in the Kichen, where he, allegedly branded a bread knife infrom of colm and explained that he would "cut the balls" off any man that he suspected of sleeping with his wife. He then continued to brag about all his seedy affairs over the years. After this erotic experience, Colm fled from the house and subsequently from Australia to seek refuge with life long friend Alec Baldwin and Vince Vaughn. Two days after Colms departure from Australia, the HasnZ family were found dead from auto erotic asphyxiation.

Baldwin and Vaughn fallout
Colm spent the next 16 months living with long time friends Alec Baldwin and Vince Vaughn. He met the two during a couples retreat in Montreal during the 1980's. During Colm's time with the "Vaughwins", as he affectionately called them, he learned basic car manics, dildo making, kama sutra and Victorian masonry. The "Vaughwins" also taught Colm basic acting and drama skills. However, there relationship became strained in 2012 when Colm seeked further acting lessons from Oprah Winfrey and Betty White. Their relationship soured further when Colm attempted to rape Vince Vaughn whilst the two were watching Adam Sandler's "Water Boy". Alec Baldwin was reported to be "sickened" by the fact that the two were watching  a movie made by Mr. Sandler. Colm left the "Vaughwins" and returned to Ireland where he pursued a career in acting. He features in many movies and sitcoms before landing his two big roles in "Ardilaun Road" and "The Color Purple".

Acting
The Color Purple is a 1985 American period drama film directed by Steven Spielberg, based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of the same nameby Alice Walker. It was Spielberg's eighth film as a director, and was a change from the summer blockbusters for which he had become famous. The film starred Danny Glover, Desreta Jackson, Margaret Avery, Colm Boyle, Adolph Caesar, Rae Dawn Chong, and introduced Whoopi Goldberg as Celie Harris.

During the film a character called Celie finds strength in Sofia (Colm Boyle), who marries Albert's son Harpo (Willard E. Pugh). Sofia has suffered abuse from the men in her family, but unlike Celie, she refuses to tolerate it. This high-spiritedness proves to be her downfall, as a rude remark to the town mayor's wife and a retaliatory punch to the mayor himself ends with Sofia beaten and jailed.

Colm has received world wide fame and notoriety for his portrayal of Sofia at home and abroad. References to Colms acting abilities can be found in Margaret Thatchers resignation speech where she stated "the plausible acting portrayed by Colm in the film "The Colour Purple" gave me the strength and the courage to leave office and to pursue a career in acting". Margaret Thatcher was later cast as Miranda Priestly in the film "The Devil Wears Prada" and has been rumored to feature in the 50th anniversary of Doctor who. She credits this success to Colm's acting abilities.

Colm's acting in the movie "The Color Purple" has also had profound affects in the religious world. He is credited as a major factor for the resignation of Pope Emeritus Benedict xvi from the catholic church. "This movie affected me profoundly. I remember a particular scene in particular, it was during a subsequent family dinner, Sofia was shown to be prematurely aged and permanently disfigured due to the severe beatings she received in jail, and was demoralized into an almost catatonic state. This made me rethink the teaching of the church. I realized that maybe we should not beat and marginalize these people".

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan and Colm Boyle were high school sweethearts. However, they grew distant in recent years. This started when Lindsay Lohan landed a role in "Mean Girls". Lindsay Lohan didn’t take kindly to Colm Boyles’ barbs as she faced the judge for violating the probation terms of her 2007 drug and alcohol case. After Boyle tweeted one-liners like, “Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn’t mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor,” Lohan defended herself by tweeting, “Colm Boyle and her ‘stargument’ make me believe that she and Adolf Hitler are a match made in heaven.”

Health issues.
Colm Suffers from Post Ejaculatory Guilt Syndrome (PEGS) which is a widely experienced sexual event which lasts for approximately five minutes after the male orgasm. During this time, the man becomes physically and mentally disinterested in his partner and has an over whelming obsession to watch episodes of Community.

Beliefs
There are no records of Colm Boyle's beliefs. Although he is on record for stating "I would never want to be a pope...nice digs, that's the only good thing i can see about it"  There are reports that Colm believes that he is Doctor Phil and thus a deity in its self. However, in an interview with CNN, Boyle denied the claim that he was Doctor Phil "I don' know what you'll thinkin'. Are yo' stupid.  How does tha' make yo' feel?".