User:MoltenuniverseSL/Transvestite pass/James Goodyear Peer Review

General info
(provide username) MoltenuniverseS, Emperor Sheev, Valerie and her week of wonders, Stutzman702
 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Link to draft you're reviewing

Transvestite pass


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The first sentence of the second paragraph in the "History" section sounds awkward or like its missing something. Please review to see if there is a missing word or better way to arrange the sentence. In this same paragraph, consider removing "and aide" in the second sentence.

There is a wikipedia page on Iwan Bloch. You should consider linking to it when his name is first mentioned.

In the second sentence of the first paragraph in the "Police" section, consider changing the word "pass" to a synonym when you write "pass it to the police," as the word "pass" appears frequently throughout in reference to the Transvestite pass itself. This may change may help avoid confusion.

Consider making all quotes into block quotes for aesthetic purposes and consistency.

Make the capitalization of words in the titles of sections more consistent. Either make all importants words capitalized or capitalize only the first word. I would advise against capitalizing words at random.

Potential accidental capitalizations of the word "Transgender." You can use "ctrl F" to check for these.

The following sentence: "Thus, the Transvestite pass illustrates the evolving legal and societal attitudes towards the act of cross-dressing, gender identity and transgender rights in Weimar Germany." Reads a bit too much like an essay. It appears to be a form of analysis or even the statement of an opinion. Consider rewording it or removing it entirely.