User:MomokoT/NetEase Cloud Music/Khascall Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:MomokoT


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:MomokoT/NetEase Cloud Music


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * NetEase Cloud Music

Lead
Your addition to the lead made sense to me, but I'm not sure about removing a description of the competition with Tencent QQ. Maybe add it back?

Content
I'm not sure how Depression Cloud is an 'event'? Also, I looked at the article on the other side of the link realisation efficiency -- I don't think that's what you meant to link to. It looks like there's more to add in terms of content, so keep going.

Tone and Balance
Overall the tone seems ok, and a lot of the tone issues I see are actually in the current version rather than things you added. Keep working on adding neutral content describing the service and company in a fact-based way.

Sources and References
The sources are ok, but I think more can be done here. Check the results from Google Scholar and Factiva for more ideas.

Organization
I see you making progress on this but it looks like you're not done -- keep going. I wouldn't add the prices for the tiers of service unless there is something particularly notable or important or controversial about the number; also it looks like the speed quality is the same for all three, I wouldn't include that type of detail. There are some places where the meaning of the text is not clear, (keep working on revising.

Images and Media
After the article goes live, we should be able to add the logo to the info box under fair use.

Overall impressions
This is a solid improvement to the article -- keep working!

Updated comments
You've made a lot of progress. We'll fix the image issue at go-live, the logo can't be in your sandbox. The main thing missing from my prior comments is a fix to the term 'realisation efficiency' -- it's not used correctly. What's this sentence trying to say? If we dropped out the entire phrase "which improve the platform's overall realisation efficiency by" -- would the text still be true? I made a few little tweaks to the text. The term H5 also seems strange -- does NetEase call them that? Are they really HTML5 as the link suggests? That bit is still unclear to me as well. I think you'll have no problem with a go live tomorrow but do make these tweaks.