User:MomokoT/NetEase Cloud Music/WanjiaRuan Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User Name: MomokoT


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link: NetEase Cloud Music Draft Version


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link: NetEase Cloud Music Current Version

Lead
The Lead has been updated with more detailed and relevant information. Compared to the existing version, the new content emphasizes the application's impact rather than considering it as part of the company's value proposition. The Lead now provides more comprehensive data and clarifies the application's significance, rather than simply positioning it as an addition to the company's offerings.

There is a clear connection between the introductory sentence and the topic, which explains what the business is about and who owns and operates it. There is a slight touch on the sections mentioned below in the Lead, however, it could be improved by stating what is below. By providing a clear connection between the lead and the sections below, the reader will better understand the overall message of the business.

Content
There has been an expansion of the content to include more information. Particularly, the 'Accounts and subscriptions' sub-section is an imperative service provided by NetEase Cloud Music, which should be highlighted. There has been an update to the data from 2017 to 2022, with additional data added, but the 'Stable releases' version has not yet been updated.

As I can see, a section titled 'Related Controversies' has been created below. This could be considered as a next step. Additionally, NetEase Cloud Music is well known for its 'Annual summary' and 'H5 output'. Another section related to those topics may be appropriate to be placed after the 'NetEase Depression Cloud'

In my opinion, since this is a Chinese platform, we should use Chinese to explain this phenomenon. It could be better to explain what NetEase Depression Cloud means in Chinese and how it forms (The comments section especially!) For a comprehensive understanding, it is always advisable to use mother language for each keyword. There is a need for more information to explain why and how this NetEase Depression Cloud appears.

The content does not contain any issues related to equity gaps. There is no reference to historically underrepresented populations or topics.

Tone and Balance
Since most of the content added is valuable information, rather than opinions, in most cases, the content is neutral. There are no strong biases toward a particular position (controversies are included).

Added what NetEase has done well and what it has done that is negatively impacting society would be a useful addition. It is critical to balance these two viewpoints in order to evaluate the platform. Although NetEase has made a positive impact on society, it is important to consider both the positive and negative aspects in order to gain an accurate understanding of the platform.

Sources and References
In comparison of the existing version, four additional sources have been added. I would recommend adding more information to support the article. It would be helpful if the 'Stable Releases' section contained links to the respective platforms' websites or app stores. The ability to directly access the latest version of the application will be beneficial to readers.

In the 'NetEase Depression Cloud' section, there are 1) no wiki links (one for each paragraph is ideological) and 2) not enough information is provided to understand this phenomenon. To illustrate the phenomenon, it would be helpful to provide several examples that linked directly to the NetEase Cloud Music page.

Organization
The contents added are well-written -- they are clear and easy to understand. It would be useful if the title was captioned in the same manner. 'Business service' should be changed to 'Business Service'. The Wiki begins with a general description of the business service, followed by a description of some of the key events and phenomena related to that service. Then, there is a description of the controversies.

Images and Media
This page does not contain any images or media. An example of the platform's logo would be a valuable element to include, and explanations are always an option to consider. It might be easier to understand the Social Entertainment Service part of the platform if there were some images of it available on the platform.

Overall impressions
In my opinion, the current article is right on track. The article adds a great deal of new content and uses the Wikipedia template to format it more effectively. As a result of the lack of organization in the original article, the content was mixed and not partitioned. This article has been rewritten in a manner that greatly improves upon the previous one. The article will also be updated to include more information to make it more neutral. Furthermore, the new article provides a clearer and more comprehensive overview of the topic, making it easier to understand.