User:Monikolov/Group consciousness (political science)/Ajsorota Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Monikolov


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Monikolov/Group consciousness (political science)


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Group consciousness (political science)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Monique! Super interesting topic you chose here, and I think it's especially great that there is so much you can still contribute to it. I am rather surprised that the current Wikipedia page for "group consciousness" is so scarce, seeing how critical this topic is to political theory. In any case, here are a few initial notes:

First, I think this article would benefit greatly from some restructuring. The first paragraph is pretty straightforward, and could serve as a fantastic lead. From there, you should probably add subheadings for the subsequent information to make it more digestible.

With regard to the content of the piece, I am glad to see that you began to rework the three paragraphs after the lead, as they are a bit difficult to understand at present. I believe these three paragraphs can be best categorized under the header "Debates about the origins of group consciousness," although obviously go with something shorter if you prefer! Additionally, I think some terms you use are still a bit ambiguous and could use more clarifying for lay readers ("group agents," "phenomenal," "materialism," etc.).

Finally, I would consider adding a section about the role of group consciousness in political change; there is expansive literature on group consciousness as it pertains to pluralism, class conflict, social movements, etc. This would be really interesting to include.

I hope some of these comments were constructive for you -- best of luck with the project!