User:Monkey13/Ouija

Since the Ouija talk page has turned into a discussion about whether or not Ouija Boards are safe, I decided to make a page for that. I am interested in what people say about them but that isn't what the Ouija talk page is for. --Monk e y 13! 00:20, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

Chapter One: Real or Nonsense?

 * Crowley: Of course they're real! I summon demons with them, too.
 * von Neumann: Can I watch you do that sometime?
 * Crowley: No.
 * von Neumann: Maybe you could bring one over sometime? We could discuss higher mathematics.
 * Crowley: No, they're, uh, shy demons.
 * von Neumann: Shy demons?
 * Crowley: Yeah.
 * von Neumann: Can't you cast a spell on them or something?
 * Crowley: Uh...maybe. I mean, I could if I wanted to.
 * von Neumann: What's sad is that I'm pretty sure there are people dumb enough to believe you.
 * Crowley: You'd be amazed.
 * [...]
 * von Neumann: So you're saying that besides the known fundamental forces of the universe, there exists another force which is capable of violating all the laws of physics as we know them, and that you, only, have discovered, and that you use it to talk to demons, and you use a piece of cardboard to do it?
 * Crowley: That sounds about right.
 * von Neumann: Unbelievable. What is it that you talk to these demons about, then?
 * Crowley: Oh, this and that. They like to pretend they're my dead grandmother for some reason. I don't really know why they do that, but it was nice to hear from granny again.
 * von Neumann: Do you hear these as voices in your head?
 * Crowley: No. I mean, yes, but that's not the way it works.
 * von Neumann: And how many people did you say buy these "Ouijas"?
 * Crowley: Oh, millions. I do pretty well on book sales, too.
 * von Neumann: You're eroding my faith in mankind.
 * Crowley: Thank you.
 * Crowley: Thank you.

Chapter Nine: Is the Price Reasonable?
How much are they sold for where you live? Monk e y 13!!! 21:02, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

Chapter Eleven: A Bit of a Break Before We Continue
Brought to you by: Coke Pepsi Wikipedia and ---Lazylaces-Helping Wikipedians since.. um.. for almost a year! Lazylaces (talk • contribs 21:25, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Chapter Thirteen: The Big Twist
Then I suddenly realized what it all meant. The clues added up. Wikipedia is a Ouija board, and I am a demon. Everything I think I'm typing, is what I'm saying on a Ouija board. So, let's see this on a Ouija board: ØΣΩ¿þðĦзųːɫ!ąфцЦťǑʌå⅜Ə--Monk e y 13! 00:55, 29 October 2006 (UTC)


 * Long live us demons... - サターン ・ ヨッシー  HAPPY HALLOWEEN 06:28, 29 October 2006 (UTC)
 * I wonder how they'll put your signature on a Ouija board. --Monk e y 13! 18:44, 29 October 2006 (UTC)