User:Monkeythemonk

About me, you ask? Well here goes the epic journey of how I became… Monkey The Monk: Journey of One Thousand Narwhals (and some other stuff too) I started as a young boy raised in an orphanage called the ring. This is where it became painfully obvious that I was different from the other children, but not necessarily in a bad way. As I grew older I harnessed my powers and eventually was trained by many superheroes such as Superman, Batman, Flash and more. Around age 12, I got my acceptance letter. My acceptance letter to a very special school. I decided to attend Hogwarts as I thought it might help harness my powers, and it did. I studied wizardry for a while, but I soon realized this was not my true calling. As I came to realize that wizardry did not intrigue me as much as the art of becoming a ninja, I decided to go switch schools into a large dojo in a remote location of the famous Japanese mountain, Mount Fuji. This dojo is almost impossible I am a doctor of dungeonology and dragonology. I went to Hogwarts as a small child and studied wizardry. However, as wizardry did not intrigue me as much as the art of becoming a ninja, I decided to go switch schools into a large dojo in a remote location of the famous Japanese mountain, Mount Fuji. This dojo is almost impossible to locate by mortal beings. However, using my wizardry skills and a unicorn I had bought in the middle of the Pacific on a small unknown island know to its inhabitants as Unisland, (for obvious reasons, I was able to locate this dojo. There I trained to become a level 20 monk (version 3.5 WOC/DnD) over a period of just 3,000,009.5 short years. By this time I was 20 years old, (as I had started Hogwarts at 12 and ended my ninja training at 20, obviously) and ready to take on the world as a level 20 monk/ 15 wizard. But as I grew older, (21), I sought to gain more knowledge of the outside world. Using my magic I disguised myself as a mortal being, which was almost impossible considering my enormous ninja-like abs. I took up the alias Trevor, an above-average highly intelligent male college student where I studied law at Harvard. I soon abandoned this practice and learned about the wonderful world of Dungeons and Dragons and many other RPGs. So I disguised myself as a small boy and went to a nearby summer day camp, the name of which I may not say. I studied RPGs for a while, and planted ideas in my Dungeon Masters head, letting him about real life figures such as the beautifully ugly man woman named Whipshanks. This shemale I will not elaborate on, but I will say the sheman is worse than the devil himself. When I felt I had accomplished my mission of learning about RPGs while also transmitting these ideas I froze time. I proceeded to learn all of the planets (including ones not even in our solar system, even other worlds, mortal) deepest, darkest secrets and qualified to become a dungeon doctor and a dragon doctor among other things. I then unfroze time, transformed back into the boy and befriended my fellow campers. I cannot go back to the camp, though. My journey awaits, as I must defeat many evil forces in the world today.

Note that the reason I did not provide a picture of my awesomeness is that the last time someone tried to take a picture of me in my true form they disintegrated immediately as did the camera. Not only did this happen, a crack in space time appeared and time froze while the world buffered. A black hole appeared so close to earth, near what is referred to as the “Bermuda Triangle,” that now everything in its path is sucked up. This happened about twenty years pre 18th century. An American female pilot, I believe known as Amelia Earhart, was the first human to fall prey to this black hole. I projected from her radio to many individuals in flight control that she was out of fuel with no land in site so as not to arouse suspicion. My attempt, I believe, has not been successful as there is much mystery surrounding this area today. However, the reason scientists have not been able to spot this enormous gaping black hole is because it is protected by a higher power, a power I wish to find and conquer (or worship if necessary). For your information the only way to see this black hole is to get custom-made sunglasses made of baby Narwhal eyes. Only through the lenses of an innocent young narwhal is it possible to see this hole. However, we all know a mother narnar would fight to the death protecting her child and no mortal would win that fight. How I have obtained a pair is another story altogether involving two drunk Venusians and a small Martian peeing on a Plutonian. I would also like to take the blame for many other of the world wonders and mysteries here on Middle Earth and many other worlds. For this great crime I apologize.