User:More888/Torngat Mountains National Park/HL0105 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

More888, Rubena15, Suzy0919, Echill88, Rubena


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:More888/Torngat_Mountains_National_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Torngat Mountains National Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
 Lead 
 * You have a strong start with the lead article, including the description of the boundaries of the area, first nations, vegetation and landscape, and goals of the park to use the information to apply ecological knowledge in this class. I would also add a climate section in your lead because I did not see any mention of it found. Other than that, great job on the lead!

 Content 


 * The content provided many aspects discussed in the lead, explaining in detail what each topic is presented. For example, the content on wildlife animals, First Nations, visitors and activities, and climate change's impact is excellent to include on the main Wikipedia page (great job!). In addition, your team provided critical information to address topics such as protected areas, endemic species, first nation traditions and ancestral territories in the mountains, climate change affecting the ecology of the protected areas, and information about how many people visit the protected sites.
 * If any information is available, I would add more about the population trends you listed for endemic species to the Torngat mountains. Overall, great job on the Fauna section of your draft.
 * The Climate Change section is good, but I recommend adding any graphs (or any visual), if any could be found, to illustrate that the ice is declining by 30% yearly to help the show reader the adversity.
 * I wish there had been more information about the area's geography and general weather. These could be the elevation of the mountains, the height, and the history of the physical landscape. I recommend using the references you already have to add more information about the landscape of the mountain:
 * Government of Canada. (2019). Torngat Mountains National Park. https://www.pc.gc.ca/en/pn-np/nl/torngats/decouvrir-discover

 Tone and Balance 


 * Almost all the sentences in the draft have excellent neutral tones and balance, but I have found one of improvements that can help with professionalism. For example, in the “Impact of climate change” content, the second sentence of the first paragraph is shown here:
 * “Regions throughout the Arctic will experience "shrubification" - meaning shrubs will grow taller and bigger and be found in places that have never been seen before.”
 * The word "never" broadly generalizes the written work. The sentence could be reworded as follows:
 * There will be “shrubification” throughout the Arctic - shrubs will grow taller, bigger, and appear in previously unknown locations.
 * Other than that, the rest of the sentences are written professionally and in a neutral tone.

 Sources and References 


 * Excellent sources are from the government website and peer-reviewed articles. Though there is a source that may seem outdated, like “Lemelin, H., & Maher, P. (2009).” If the contents are still relevant, it's an excellent addition to the wiki page.
 * I think the “Impact of climate change” needs more sources in its sentences, other than that, the information provided is relevant.
 * I noticed most of the citations use APA instead of the wiki citation; it may clear the confusion if all sources use it.

 Organization and structure 


 * Excellent overall organization and structure of the wiki, though there is some confusion in the fauna paragraph. For example, in the last two sentences of the first paragraph, various is a comprehensive word that can mean anything; changing the sentence to be more specific would drastically improve the importance of the main message.
 * To further improve the organization of the draft, I recommend moving the “Impacts of climate change” towards the top (below the “creation of park”) since it is one of the central aspects that drives human-caused catastrophes to Faunas.

 Overall Impressions 


 * A great addition to the article is the information about who is in power in this area and how the indigenous people govern it. I really enjoyed reading this article. Make sure to change your references into Wikipedia hyperlinks so that the paper will stand out!
 * The content and structure of the draft are excellent, it just needed minor changes to bring out its full potential. The main headers and sub-headers are clearly explained in detail, with government and peer-reviewed sources supporting the statement. The sentences are written in a neutral tone and with professionalism in mind. There is no clumping of information, and the content is easy to understand.
 * I am looking forward to seeing the results of the article with all the information you have provided!