User:More888/Torngat Mountains National Park/ShrikeInRed Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

More888, Rubena15, Suzy0919, Echill88, RubenaTuesday


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:More888/Torngat_Mountains_National_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Torngat Mountains National Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
The original article's lead introduces the reader to Torngat Mountain's National Park concisely - More888 et. al made the right call to leave this part in as the start. More888 begins their draft with a history of the creation of the park. The sentences could use some clarity - they are a little difficult to follow. The first three paragraphs also seem out of place; 1. History, 2. Boundaries, 3. Goals for Conservation. A better through-line would be to integrate the history of the creation of the park with the goals for conservation (why it was created in the first place), then go on to give more details about the park's boundaries. Throughout these three paragraphs, More888 prioritizes Parks Canada as a source. While reputable, it would be good to include more variation in their sources.

The draft's fauna section includes prominent species found in the region, species at risk and their population trends, and how certain species are important for First Nation lifestyles. The human activities that impact these species are also listed, with a highlight on caribou populations. It would be nice to see more explanation for the caribou-wolf predator-prey relationship if it needs to be mentioned at all, perhaps how that relationship affects other species or First Nations. Also specifying which climate regions different species inhabit would be useful, especially for readers interested in the habitats of certain species. Once again, using more than two sources for the last two paragraphs would be good. Both are reputable, but many more can be utilized for this topic.

The First Nations section is much shorter but contains important details of Indigenous involvement in the park's history. To make this section a little longer, I would advise taking some general ideas out of the first two sections and integrating them here, including more details about Inuit involvement, how the animals of the park impact Indigenous lifestyles, and how Indigenous peoples are involved in the park today.

Even shorter is the Visitors and Activities section. It would be nice to see more detail here, especially about the activities offered by the park. The Inuit escort sounds like a fascinating endeavor, and as one who may be interested in exploring the area, I would love to read more about it. A picture of some of the views would also be appreciated.

The Climate Change section explains how warming temperatures are creating the effect of "shrubification". Utilization of the "link" function here would allow More888 to describe other effects of climate change while readers can choose to read about "shrubification" in their own time. The section also lacks citations for its first two sentences, both of which contain facts that would need to be backed up.

Overall, More888's draft contains lots of details about the park and includes important statistics. More information in the First Nations, Visitors and Activities, and Impact of Climate Change sections would be good, plus the use of more varied sources. Some sentences lack clarity and paragraphs could be switched around or integrated to improve understanding. Proper use of the citation function would be needed in the Creation of Park and Fauna sections.