User:Morgan Kennon/sandbox

Lead:

Many scholars use the term hurtful communication to refer to the attacking style of communication often driven by hurt feelings (Young, Bippus, & Dunbar 2015). This type of communication normally takes place in more intimate relationships (such as close friends, family, and romantic partners). This type of communication can be present in other scenarios too. Geddes and colleagues (2020) discuss how negative emotions, such as hurt, can even cause problems with communication in the workplace. Research on hurtful communication is important because this type of communication can be harmful to relationships. Hurtful communication can also lead to longterm emotional and psychological issues (DeClerck & Holtzman 2018). By highlighting the different ways hurtful communication is displayed and interpreted, scholars can come up with potential ways to better identify this behavior and teach people how to cope with hurtful communication.

What is hurtful communication?

Communication is one of the key aspects of any relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a professional relationship. Communicative dialogue is a tool that allows individuals to share thoughts and feelings with one another. Put differently, fuel to a car is as communication is to a relationship. Communication helps give relationships direction. But, communication can also be damaging to a relationship. When interacting in a relationship, communication that is meant to be negatively interpreted by the receiving party can be described as hurtful communication (Young, Bippus, and Dunbar 2015). Some interesting aspects of hurtful communication include the intimacy of the relationship between to receiver and the person they are communicating with, and the intensity of the message (Young, 2004). The more intimate a relationship is, the more hurtful the receiver may interpret the message. But, research has also shown that intensity of the message can be consistency hurtful despite the intimacy of the relationship (Young, 2004). In other words, the receiver of the message is more likely to be hurt by some one they are in an intimate relationship with, but intense message are more likely to be interpreted by the receiver as hurtful no matter what the status of the relationship is (Young, 2004). Ultimately though, what constitutes as hurtful communication is highly dependent on the receiver. Other scholars, such as Young, Bippus, and Dunbar (2015) elaborate on this concept by adding that, "Although looking at a single hurtful message provides insight into the significance that even one hurt-evoking remark can play in shaping people’s perceptions and reactions to hurt, this sharp focus offers only a preliminary snapshot of the complexity of hurtful exchanges in romantic relationships (p.40)."

Hurtful communication in context

Young (2010) offers that two important components of hurtful communication are topics of message and the form of messages (p. 51). Young (2010) continues by adding that the topic of the message refers to the content or subject of the comment where the form of the message refers to the way the comment is framed (as a question, a an accusation, as a joke, etc.). These elements of hurtful communication, along with interpretation by the receiver, interact with one another and can affect how a comment affects a person. For example, if two coworkers are collaborating on a project, responsibilities are more than likely going to be divided fairly in order to complete the task more efficiently. As the deadline approaches, one of them might say to the other "I know you had a busy schedule this week. Were you able to manage your portion of the project?". The previous statement is what would be described as the content of the message. How the message is then framed is what gives meaning to the message. If this person was simply asking their co-worker a question out of concern, the co-worker might appreciate their college checking on their well-being. If this person making the comment did so accusingly, the other person might feel as though their co-worker doubts their ability to do their job. This is why it is important for individuals to consider the way they frame what they say just as much as the dialogue involved. Any statements that involve hurtful content, or are framed in a way that negatively changes the meaning of message content can be considered hurtful communication. As some scholars have developed an understanding of what hurtful communication is, others have taken this knowledge and analyzed the different ways people are impacted by hurtful communication.

How are we affected by hurtful communication?

Because a person can feel hurt by an intense message, the pain they feel can affect future interactions with the person that hurt them. Stress caused by interpersonal relationships has been linked to many health issues such as depression (DeClerck & Holtzman 2018). If hurtful communication persists in relationships, individuals feel hurt can then develop emotional problems that can lead to low satisfaction in the relationship (Rodriguez et al., 2020). Hurtful Communication, then, has the potential to damage all of our interpersonal relationships. Scholars like Dunleavy et al. (2009) have taken research on hurtful communication a step further. Dunleavy et al. (2009) explain that research on this type of communication should go beyond describing the negative emotions and dialogue involved. Research on hurtful communication should also attempt to offer ways to repair relationships damaged by this harmful form of interaction.

Critique:

One of the limitations of research on hurtful communication is that there is little research that propose ways to overcome the effects of hurtful communication. Also, there is a need for more longitudinal studies the take into consideration how people can be negatively affected by hurtful communication over time. Bachman and Guerrero (2007) utilized an interpersonal forgiveness model in a relevant study where individuals who were hurt by their romantic partners were more likely to forgive their partners if they felt that they were truly apologetic. But, there is little research that incorporates the use of more structural recoveries, such as therapies or meditations.

Moreover, people who giver personal accounts of hurtful communication are more likely to remember the details of someone causing them pain and are less likely to remember how they have negatively impacted someone else with hurtful communication (Young, 2015). Future studies should explore the possibility that admitting one's own guilt when it comes to hurtful communication can aid in the healing process and improved communication during future interactions.

Future studies might also consider hurtful communication in context other than romantic relationships.

Additional resources:

TED Talk: Jay Johnson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kARkOdRHaj8


 * Describes how interpersonal communication can affect us physically, mentally, and psychologically.
 * Also offers solutions to working with difficult people