User:Morganwendel/Hurvin Anderson/ThirdBrownEye Peer Review

In the leading paragraph of early life and education, when stating which colleges Anderson was educated at London only needs to be stated once. Rather than repeating it for both sentences, simply state it as: Anderson was educated in London at the Wimbledon College of Art and the Royal College of Art. This avoids redundancy, which appears heavily throughout the article. For example, in the next sentence, you also state where he was born twice. Decide whether you'd like to say England or the United Kingdom or rephrase the sentence for more information. Regardless of whichever you choose, the reader is knowledgeable enough to know where either place is. Other errors included grammatical and spelling. Bachelors is misspelled in the opening paragraph. Be consistent in your wordage and capitalization-College of Art rather than school of art. In discussing the awards he attained in the last few sentences use such as rather than as well as since no other specific awards were mentioned. Royal College of Art should be capitalized (consistency). In the last sentence of early life and education include a date or further information of when he completed these residencies.

Moving on to his career, I think the information given relates moreso to his artwork. Career should focus on his professional development providing further insight about his time during residencies, any art organizations/ coalitions he was part of, conferences, talks, or discussions he presented his work, etc. Also, before discussing the shift in Anderson's work, it's great to highlight how abstraction appeared or functioned in his work early on. How is who he's represented by important or relevant to his work-seems like a minor detail that doesn't function well to the overall paragraph.

"Hurvin Anderson had many exhibitions throughout his career." seems redundant and quite obvious given the list afterwards. Adding such as or removing the sentence entirely would be helpful. Also the entire paragraph needs some rewording so that it's easier for the reader to follow. As the reader, I understand you're simply listing exhibitions, but it's lacking sentence structure such as the verb between subject and object.

These are all suggestions, you're doing great! Looking forward to the next review on any updates and revisions made. ThirdBrownEye (talk) 13:17, 9 April 2023 (UTC)

General info

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 * User: Morganwendel

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 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Hurvin Anderson


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * User:Morganwendel/Hurvin Anderson

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(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Linked article in early life isn't linked. Explore should be explores. Wimbledon School of Art should be capitalized along with the date of when he received his bachelor's. As well should be such as being only one award has been given to the reader. Royal College of Art and College of Higer Education should be capitalized. The last sentence pertaining to art residencies should be reworded for concision. ThirdBrownEye (talk) 13:26, 9 April 2023 (UTC)