User:Morrandr/Philomath College/StaceySmithOSU Peer Review

Prof. Smith Wikipedia first draft comments
Hi Andrew,

Here is where I am putting my comments on your Wikipedia first draft. These are the questions I have about new content to add and improvements I would like to see before the final version.

Lead:

- I would change "preparatory institution" to "preparatory school" to be more specific.

- I would move the second sentence of the lead (about the current use of the building as the Benton County Museum) to the end of the lead so that things are in chronological order. Then, say when it became the location of the museum (what year).

- I think it would be a good idea to mention when the building was added to the National Register of historic places (and that it is on the list, since you chose it because it was on this list).

Content:

- Can you explain what the Henderson donation land claim was? Was it the land claim of a townsperson?

- You mention the electrical modernization of the building twice. Maybe eliminate this repetition by taking out the note about electric modernization at the end of the "History" section?

- What church used the building after it closed in 1929?

- Can you be more specific about what you mean by "Depression tensions"? The economic downturn and hard times, specifically, I assume?

- Was the building ever renovated after years of disrepair? When and how?

- Where was the museum located before it moved into the college building? Or was this the first county museum?

- Is the building still a museum after the construction of the new museum building downtown?

- Could you mention any changes to the building/grounds due to the museum moving in? I know, for instance, that a recent addition was a giant warehouse on the property for the museum's collection of artifacts (including John Horner's massive collection, which is related to the author of your first reference).

- I would be sure to put in links to any Wikipedia articles about the Benton Co. Museum and especially an external link to the museum's website under your "External Links" section.

Style:

- Be sure to proofread and polish. I see a fair amount of passive voice and I would like you to edit that out whenever you find it.

- Watch apostrophes in your final paragraph.

Sources:

These all look good!