User:Morwenna782/Na Hyeseok/Poppyprint Peer Review

Hi Hannah! You have done a great job! I think you have made an excellent and valuable contribution to the article. It's clearly written and organized, but I have made some suggestions below to make sure everything is communicated clearly. Please read them carefully and go over any other typos / errors you might have.

One issue I am noticing here is how you cite your sources. Be judicious when using direct quotes. For example, if the quote is from Na herself or from her contemporaries (primary source), I think direct quotes will be useful. However, in other cases, if you are citing from secondary sources, it's better to paraphrase. See this resource, for example:

https://writing.wisc.edu/handbook/assignments/quotingsources/

Please remember that I am happy to go over these together in person, too!

'''*References - please review your references. The ranges are good, but for example, for Sunglim Kim's article, you should include the chapter title. Right now it sounds like she wrote the entire book, which is not the case.'''

During Na’s Hye-seok's marriage in the 1920s to Kim Wu-Yong, she painted a large number of oil paintings in the Western oil painting style. Because Na was a married woman and not reliant upon herself to make a living, she was able to continue painting in this style despite it not being particularly popular. Her husband, Gim U-yeong (Kim Wu-Yong) (maybe use Kim Wu-Yong to maintain consistency?), agreed to let her continue her painting and writing after their marriage, which was a deviation from the traditional viewpoint at the time. Many male artists at the time abandoned the style (be specific - do you mean oil painting? I also feel like you're not differentiating between medium and style) when demand was not high enough for them to be able to live on the money brought in by sales of these paintings.

In 1926 Na Hye-seok’s painting style was described as being “...influenced by her Japanese professors.” This resulted in a Post-Impressionist and Naturalist style which emphasized form, color, and lighting. In order to bring more “...individuality and artistic expression…” (where is the direct quote coming from? If it's a primary source - ie direct quote from Na or her contemporaries, keep them. If not, paraphrasing is recommended. Also, get rid of "...") Na’s style underwent a shift from brighter, prominent colors to ones that were less vibrant. Other characteristics of Na’s personal style include: a “...specialty in landscape…”; “...bold, confident, and spontaneous brushstrokes…”, and her experimentation with texture, exemplified in South Gate of Bonghwan Fortress (1923). An additional description of her work (by whom? From when/where?) explains that her environment had a clear influence on the depictions in her work, “Because she went out to sketch for her landscapes and gave deep thought to composition, her presentation of architectural structure and her compositions are well considered and solid.”

During this period, Na participated in many exhibitions, displaying and selling her work, some of which sold for as much as 350 won (US $3, 500 today). The Na's first solo exhibition in which Na participated in by herself, displaying which included a collection of oil paintings, was promoted in a newspaper article in Seoul at a newspaper business named (check spelling and use uppercase) Kyonsong ilbo. In regard to her participation in the Joseon (Choson) Art Exhibition, Na submitted paintings almost yearly, save for the years during which she lived in Europe. -> (in regard to sounds strange because you did not mention the Joseon Art Exhibition before. I think you can simply say "Na also submitted paintings almost yearly to the state-sponsored Joseon Art Exhibition..")

Many of her paintings were accepted (clarify that this is about Na's participation in the Joseon Art Exhibition), and two (??? looks like something is missing here...), Garden in Fall and Nangrang Tomb won fourth and third place, respectively. (262-263) get rid of page number here Additionally, two of her paintings, Ch’onhung (Tianhou Temple) and Garden received the “...highest award in Western oil painting…” in 1926 and 1931, respectively.

In the 1930s, Na was receiving received criticism of her work as well as of her personal life personal criticism after her affair became known to the public. As a result of this, she moved to submitting works to a Japanese art exhibition, Teiten, as well as requesting help in selling her work. This was not enough, however, and she no longer submitted work to public exhibitions. These issues all took their toll on Na, which was attributed to another shift in her artistic style, “...with loose structure and rough hasty brushstrokes…” exemplified in Peonies in Front of Hwanyong Hall (1933) and Hongnyu Waterfall (1937). Despite only holding private exhibitions, her favorability did not rise.

Career: Sinyoja *Some of these figures may have their own Wikipedia pages - be sure to link them
Na Hye-sok, in addition to (along with?) four other women, Kim Won-ju (김원주), Pak In-dok (박인덕), Sin Chul-lyo (? Could you check spelling? Couldn't find her), and Kim Hwal-lan (김활란), founded Sinyoja (신여자 - and do we have a translation of the title?) , a journal focusing on the experiences of women in 1920s Korean a society that still favored the Confucian ideal of womanhood. Sinyoja was first printed in March 1920 and was 'in print before the newspaper, Tonga ilbo, and magazine, Kaebyok'', both important publications. (Do you mean that the publication preceded the publication of Tonga Ilbo and Kaebyok? Clarify, and perhaps put in a separate sentence)' Sinyoja'' was characterized by the idea of being a publication “...for women, about women, and by women”, and one of the goals was to create an outlet through which discussion regarding the societal issues of inequality and oppression could take place in a public setting. The main arguments within Sinyoja articles included, “...change amid gender ideologies and practices…scrutiny of colonialism…” and “...liberation of women from patriarchal oppression, bolstering socio-cultural and feminist consciousness, and working for gender equality.” The title, Sinyoja, which means ‘new woman, (comma)’ furthered the use of the word itself as a descriptor in discussion regarding these issues.

The founders of the publication came from similar education backgrounds, and as such were able to capitalize on their elevated place in society to garner attention and respect. The creation of the journal initially received help from two men, Pang Chong-hwan and Yu Kwan-nyol, who had published another journal. The first issue published featured some elements that were not present in later issues, these being: including written (writing concisely: articles are written, so no need to use the word here. Read your draft carefully and eliminate any unnecessary words) articles from Pang (Uppercase for proper noun) chong-hwan and Yu Kwan-nyol. and The editor and publisher underwent changes. In an effort to emphasize a publication focused solely on women, only articles written by women were featured. The second change occurred due to censorship laws. At the time, publication permission was sooner granted, “...if the publisher was a foreigner”, thus, after the first issue, “...only Mrs. Billings is listed as both the journal’s editor and publisher…”, removing Kim Won-ju as editor.

The public was receptive to the journal and information regarding its publication and popularity was featured in other publications, and additionally the “...high circulation indicates that Sinyoja draws both female and male readers.”

The types of articles featured in Sinyoja were often written by Na Hye-sok and her colleagues, who also performed other editorial and publishing roles. In addition to articles, the journal also included fictional work in genres such as "...short stories, essays, memoirs, and poems...”, which featured women as the “...protagonists or narrative voices…” and often employed the “...confessional mode…” in “...epistolary format, diary, memoirs, and reminisces.”

Despite the Japanese ending the publication of the journal, “...Sinyoja set the prototypical themes, format, structure, and perspectives for discourses on gender politics in Korea…” which would leave a lasting impression. The journal also gave women an outlet through which they could express their ideas and issues with the traditional roles of society in an attempt to create new thought and implement change.

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