User:Moto53/Testament of the Spaghetti Monster

Moto53 wrote this holy document of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster it is called:Testament of the Spaghetti Monster

Chapter 1
In the bigynnyng the Flying Spaghetti monster was drunk of Beer.

He had passed out in six thousand light years from the point of Earth.

Then when he woke up, he wanted to creat something, but he was still very drunk.

So he made the univers and the suns and the moons and the planets and earth.

He also made matter and molecules and atoms and nutrons and electrons and protons and kwarks.

Then when he finally understood what he had done, he swore on his life to continue to take care on this univers and the multi-verss and man kind.

Because he couldn't correct what he had done, he desided to creat Lodwig, the first human.

He had showed him his noodely power but Lodwig wasn't impressed, so the Flying Spaghetti Monster killed him.

Then he tryed another time to creat a new Lodwig but he failed again.

After 12999925000 years after his great passing out he finally created the perfect human called:

Lodwig 28754, or for shortcut, Adam.

Then when the Flying Spaghetti Monster showed Adam his great noodley power, Adam was impressed and felt a great force pushing him to point his hand to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster didn't know what Adam was doing, so cooperated.

Then they touched and a woamn was born.

Adam asked the Flying Spaghetti Monster who she is and the Flying Spaghetti Monster told him:

"For she shall be your wife, she is negative of thou, she is darkened skin and great bust and great anus".

And Adam saw it good.

Adam and Eve had children together, three and called them:

Petrus, Matisyahu and Mahmud.

Chapter 2
One day, Mahmud went to the field with Petrus to play checkers, then a checker fell on the head of Petrus and killed him.

Mahmud went right to the house and blamed it all on Matisyahu.

Mahmud told his perants that he is (Mahmud) Anti Semitic.

Then it ment not shamed.

From that the phrace, Anti Semitic, A man that hates Semitic People (Hebrews).

Adam and Eve went to Matisyahu that was cooking dinner for the whole family and told him that he is in grounded for all week.

Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster came to them and told them that Mahmud killed Petrus, and he shall be punished.

And Adam and Eve went to mahmud and grounded him and ungeounded Matisyahu.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster thought that it is not enough so he went to Mahmud and told him to where the mark of Evil on his head, the brand of The Fonz.

Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster sent him away from the land of Pasta, also called Italia.

Yes, Adam and Eve where Italian, not Mesupatemian.

And then came to the Matisyahu and said:

"For I am the smartest the the Flying Spaghetti Monster gave me the wisdome of all life and knoledge and I shall summon an arch-Tomato to here to prays the Flying Spaghetti Monster".