User:Mpf53/Sickle cell disease/Cnoellec49 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mpf53


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Mpf53/Sickle cell disease


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sickle cell disease

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

You found a lot of useful and relevant information! I am unsure where you plan to add it, possibly under the Africa heading? Currently the regions fall under the epidemiology section, and mostly include data, whereas causes and cultural factors are in other sections. You have a lot of information about both the hard numbers and the cultural influences, so it may have to be broken up or restructured.

I would also work on tone neutrality. Referring to knowledge as being weak or certain things as failures may raise some red flags with editors.

Overall, great job! This is very useful information to be adding.