User:MrBubbler/sandbox/Mr Baxter

Mr Baxter is the spiritual leader of Redbubble and holder of various important titles including Executive Sender of Emails and Chief Pencil Sharpener and Assistant Deputy Director of Parcel Tape. .

Early life
Mr Baxter's origins are unclear, though he appears to have emerged some time around the discovery of a 2,100 year old melon in Western Japan. There were reports of a rather diminutive man enthusing over his love of cantaloupe and cardboard boxes.

His first definitive celebrity sighting was in late 2007 coming out of a matinee showing in Westgarth of Lars and the Real Girl, a surprise hit and one with particular personal resonance for Mr Baxter.

Since emerging on the scene, Mr Baxter has been rather coy in his public commentary. He is believed to be the only child of Fluff and Cotton Baxter, who live quietly in Needlepoint bluff, North Carolina. He is rumoured to have loved a good biscuit (the southern type) with gravy in his early years, but developed a strange fascination with Anzac biscuits as he aged.

Marriage
Mr Baxter wed the lead tambouriniste of the aristo-retro-soul band World of Postage, Susie Stuffy-Pants. They are reported to have met through the dating site puppet love. Mr B proposed at the end of a long night watching the enthralling process of die sublimation in Storm_Lake,_Iowa‎, where by chance World of Postage had their biggest ever gig making the moment extra special. The wedding was held in an undisclosed location. Guests reported that the wedding was beautiful, but felt a bit peckish afterwards as the only food on hard was made of corrugated cardboard filled with bubble wrap.

Philosophy of life
Mr Baxter lives by the simple motto of "carpe delivere." This isn't a widely understood motto, but it is variously translated as:
 * "live life as if it is a pencil you can't sharpen."
 * "be the gift you want to receive"
 * "don't skimp on the packing tape, your postie doesn't want to see those new undies...thank you very much"

The man is truly an oracle.

The Redbubble years
Mr Baxter's emergence as spiritual leader remains a complete mystery. Staff interviews indicate that they came to work one day and found their coffee mugs glued to the table, their computers wrapped in celophane, and a strange (but quite intoxicating) taste to the coffee. Before they knew it there were emails flying from this Mr Baxter guy and customers were asking for more of him.

Why Mr Baxter decided Redbubble was for him (and he must really love it because he only gets paid in biscuits...and the occasion free wash in Ed's washing machine) can be divined from his favourite acronym: VUIAYO. Redbubble is "vigorously, utterly inspiring and YO!, they let me fill out the postage labels."