User:Mssuther/Agdaagux Tribe of King Cove Alaska/EartmanW Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Mssuther


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mssuther/Agdaagux_Tribe_of_King_Cove_Alaska?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall this article draft has a good amount of info and sources as well as a good format, but there are still some areas that could be modified or improved. Some areas need the grammar fixed, other areas may need slight wording changes, and others may be missing a citation.

The intro should be more than just one sentence and summarize some of information that you have in later sections.

The "Location" section could also use some rewording. For example clarify who said that the city was founded as the canneries opened, or maybe shorten that sentence by removing the phrase "it is said". The paragraph also abruptly ends with that link to the Alaska borough, how dies it fit into that section? Could it be mentioned within one of the earlier sentences to better describe where the city is?

In the "Language" section there is a lot of good information here. Some of the grammar, (for example the final sentence in this section), and some of the wording elsewhere could be modified. One wording choice that might be improved is when you say the language was influenced by "Russians", it might be better to say it was influenced by Russian traders/settlers or by the Russian language.

Again the "Culture" section has some good information, but could be reworded. For example, not every reader may know what "precontact" means, it might be good to specify whether that means before initial contact with Russians or Europeans. The final sentence does not flow very well either, the beginning of the sentence does not seem to connect with the end. Another potential issue is that some of the sentences look like they might not have citations backing them up. Make sure to double check that.

The final "History" section seems to not fit very well in the article. To me it seems a little too short to be its own separate section. Again, the sentence in this section does not have a citation.