User:MuseumHours/Library of Congress Subject Headings/Mmorales38072 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

MuseumHours


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:MuseumHours/Library_of_Congress_Subject_Headings?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Library of Congress Subject Headings

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

there is no lead section yet. (already existed articele)

Content

I'm assuming the section "Regarding indigenous studies" is going to be an addition to the main wikipedia page.

Anything that has a claim should be citated (ie;A number of Indigenous studies scholars recognize the Library of Congress Classification system and its subject headings to be Western constructions, whose attempts to classify and represent global cultures favor a Eurocentric and Christian perspective.)

check punctuation and capitalizing at the beginning of sentences.

"It is argued that there is no reason in our society to use the term "Indians" except specifically when cataloging works relating to the Indian Act, or similar historical legislature." -Who argues? maybe mention who argues this at the beginning of the statement for credibility?

the content you have is much focused on the Indigenous peoples incorrect representation and classification in the Library of Congress Classification systems. The content is very informative, but since this is something that is regarding the reforming of information, everything must be heavily cited for credibility.

ex: Firstly, it fails to acknowledge the sovereignty of Indigenous nations.

there are no citations on this statement, and although its content is obvious, there must be one for the sake of credibility.

Tone and Balance

critical and persuasive.

I understand how important this issue is and how we should be engaging the audience in more critical understanding of North American Indigenous groups, but for the sake of the article I would be careful when relaying information that tries to reform the readers perspective as this is not meant to change someones perspective, but to provide information.

Example:"A major concern is the LCSH's use of the term 'Indian" to describe Indigenous materials."

the phrase "a major concern" can be seen as persuasive language. ( I do agree tho, it is a major concern) Maybe changing it to "The LCSH'S use of outdated terminology is becomes apparent with their use of the term 'Indian", being used to describe Indigenous materials."

Sources and References

The sources and references are very beneficial to the article being written. Scholarly

Articles ranging in years, providing a well versed amount of information. Solid selection.

Organization

Well organized thoughts in the first paragraph. Excited to see where you organize/what else you add to the page.

Images and Media

none present yet, article is under development.

Overall impressions

The overall content this user is focusing on is very important and crucial. The importance of proper cataloging, especially of different ethnic/religious/cultural groups is heavily stressed in this article, which is good considering this section of the article is focused on the reforming of information on North American Indigenous peoples. Thus far the user has made well thought out paragraphs that are clear and easy to read and follow. My only main critique is use of tone and language. Since most of your source articles are critiques of the LCHS system, I can see why a lot of the statements are critical. I would just suggest to be more aware on citing your references in the text.