User:Mwongz/Carbon black/Tsang Karl Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Assigned to: Mwongz, AccountAlias, Greta Margaux

The 'Carbon Black' Group in CHEM 300 WikiEdu


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mwongz/Carbon_black?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Carbon black
 * Carbon black

Evaluate the drafted changes
Assuming the sandbox draft is for content to be added to the wikipedia page, and not designed as a complete overhaul:

 Content: 

Content added is relevant to the topic

Content added is also new to the original page, and has not been previously discussed in the page

Considering that this is a wikipedia article and the audience for this would be the general public, certain terms in the draft should be either more thoroughly explained in the article, or be hyperlinked to the relevant articles. Concepts such as Specific Surface Area (SSA), ion intercalation, and potential barrier are notable scientific concepts that are not common knowledge to the general audience. These all have wikipedia pages of their own and they should be hyperlinked in the article when referring to these concepts.

Should include a topic sentence to introduce the concept of carbon black in Li-ion batteries. Currently the first sentence of the paragraph is too long to serve as the topic sentence.

COnsider including diagrams or figures with captions to visually illustrate the use and purpose of carbon black in Li-ion batteries.

Good link to graphite and its application in batteries in the article draft

 Organization: 

Watch for grammatical errors: long-lasting with the hyphen

Consider reading the paragraph aloud to see if you can word it differently, currently when reading it aloud there seems to be a lot of filler words such as conjunctions.

Content added is organized, it contains a heading for the application towards Li-ion batteries

Content added so far is concise, but it should be elaborated upon. Consider including figures or diagrams.

 Citations: 

Consistent citation formatting throughout, good

Sources are all from credible, primary literature (Scientific journals) good

Sources are current, and information presented in the draft matches with information presented in the referenced sources.

Source links work.

 Overall: 

The draft does improve the overall quality of the article, as this concept has not been discussed in the original article

THe applications of carbon black in Li-Ion batteries can be elaborated, the draft currently is very brief. Good start nevertheless.