User:Mxf315/Obstacles to receiving mental health services among African American youth/Marie Emerson Peer Review

Whose work are you reviewing?

 * Mxf315
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Mxf315/Obstacles to receiving mental health services among African American youth
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Obstacles to receiving mental health services among African American youth

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * The first paragraph of the article is very long. I think it might be beneficial to break it up so its easier to read and understand.
 * In the sandbox draft add in a direct citation links instead of a written citation. This would make is easier for us to see the citations and check if they work and find the documents the author is referring to. Whereever in the article there is a written citation input the link citations this makes the article seem more cohesive and professional.
 * Clinician and Therapeutic Factors Section Comments
 * Try to separate your information in to muitple paragraphs this will make it easier for readers to read thorugh the material and not get overwhelmed.
 * "causing an underdiagnoses in depression" not underdiagnosed
 * Give examples of the differences in symptoms of depression between African Americans and White Americans - help readers understand and pin point these variabilities.
 * Religion/Spirituality Section Comments
 * Feels like there are conflicting points of view in this section: the first sentence is talking baout how having a relationship with God is a coping mechanism for mental health issues but the second sentence is explaining that strict ideas and values in faith is problematic for young African Americans. Choose what is the point of this article
 * Give more information about the connection between African Americans not wanting to talk about mental health because of religous reasons.
 * This addition is really good maybe add in more information about how religious beliefs affect mental health
 * Social Network Section - Add in more information here because it seems very incomplete and not needed otherwise
 * Most importantly, decide what the goal of this paragraph is meaning is it meant to showcase the benefits of social networks or not and use that goal to find information that will make this section stronger.
 * Write about studies that showcase the benefits of having a social network or the disadvantages of not having a social network.
 * Tallk about how a social network can negativily or postiviely affect Black mothers and children.
 * Showcases correaltion between social netweorks and mental health services or illnesses.
 * References
 * Citations are not clear
 * Add in link citations which will automatically create an organized reference section