User:Myspecialusername/Gender inequality in the United States/RBondy Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Myspecialusername


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Myspecialusername/Gender_inequality_in_the_United_States?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gender inequality in the United States
 * Gender inequality in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.) Hi Michelle! Great job so far. You've made this section intersectional, and your sources are really interesting and hyper-relevant!

'Hi Michelle! Great job so far. You've made this section intersectional, and your sources are really interesting and hyper-relevant!'

Lead:

It looks like there isn't a lead in the "Current Issues for Women" section header. I don't think you need to add that -- it would require summarizing everything in the section, which is a lot -- but maybe you could add to the talk page and suggest someone else write a lead for the section to summarize everything in there?

Content and Tone/Balance:

The content is clearly well-researched and is very relevant to the topic you're covering. You cover equity gaps -- adding race and age as a lens. I would suggest adding more to the first paragraph -- elaborating a bit more to explain the information; going deeper into your sources. I know you're trying to stay really neutral, but I think there's a way for you to delve deeper while still remaining neutral. I'd also suggest analyzing pain disparities through a racial lens (for example, doctors are even less likely to believe a Black woman in pain compared to a White woman). I did a quick google search and there seem to be good sources on this, so I think it would definitely add something to make this section even better. Here's something I found: https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain

The section on pregnancy complications and deaths is really good an obviously a huge issue in women's health. The tone is neutral and well-written.

I know you can't cover everything in inequality and health, but if you're able to add another short paragraph or sentence covering a few other over-arching health-related issues/disparities, it would strengthen the section as a whole. For instance, I found this study, "Gender Disparities in Health and Healthcare use Among Older Adults." The study found that older women use healthcare services less than men, oftentimes because they have less economic resources. Could be an interesting thing to mention! Here's the study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2965695/

Organization:

This is an incomplete sentence: Women are more often undertreated than men.  

Sources:

Your sources look good! You've clearly cited everything and I don't think these need changes. As I mentioned above, maybe you bring in a few more sources, but I don't think you need to change anything regarding sources that you currently have.