User:Mzmiric/The Grape Rule

What?

Gentlemen, I present to you the Grape Rule. The Grape Rule is and should be used when you were either drunk and hooked up with someone you thought was pretty, only to find out the next day that she wasn’t, or if you kiss a girl and you realize later what a silly mistake it was. OR if you kissed a girl and you realized that she can’t kiss and she’s trying to kill you, well not actually trying to kill you but she will kill you if she carries on and she is not noticing this. If you think it’s a valid reason, it is a valid reason to use the Grape Rule.  When?

The Grape Rule, should be used straight after the event that happened. After this point in time she is nonexistent for you. No buts. She is simply forgotten. Nothing more than a small piece of meat that you swallowed to fast. Whenever you need it, use it.

How?

This my friends is really simple. First of all, forget the three day rule before you call her again. You wont. Ever. And I mean ever! Best thing to do is to delete her number straight off your phone. If you see her in town, get out your iPhone and pretend you are reading something interesting or are texting. Should she see you in town, again get out your iPhone and pretend you are talking to your nonexistent girlfriend. “Yes babe, I will bring the supplies we need, don’t worry. Love you.” for example, would be a perfect way to avoid talking to this person at any cost. Now if you over do it she might commit suicide, so don’t be to harsh or make it sound like you are married. And if you are married, well tough luck. You should be a bit harsh. Don’t worry about this other person. Whatever happens you’ve got your wife, whom you shouldn’t have cheated on by kissing/having sex with another woman. Kissing isn’t so bad. But sex, shame on you! Should you have this person you will never talk to again on social networks, like facebook, delete her and don't forget to block her straight away. It could get uncomfortable and you might get instant messages like “why are you ignoring me, I can see that you are online, you just joined a group!!!!”. Should something like this be the case, don’t sweat it. What could she possible do? If you’ve got this person on IM platforms, block her straight away or you will receive the same kind of messages. Last but not least is when she has your phone number or knows where you live. Don’t worry about the later. She won’t break into your house. However, if she does have your phone number, you have a small problem. She will text and call you even at times when you think it has been to long for her to remember you. If this is the case, just carry on ignoring her. She will understand sooner or later. How-ever you need it, use it.

Who?

The Grape Rule can be used by any member of the male sex. This rule is only valid for men. Any attempt by a woman can simply be disregarded as an epic-fail. It won’t work for them.

Where?

The Grape Rule can be used anywhere at any time. At home. In the bar. In the club. In the sauna. In the pool. In bed. Where-ever you need it, use it.

Let us look at an example. During the England vs USA game in the year of 2010 during the fifa world cup, you could have witnessed the perfect example of the Grape Rule. It all started with this guy, let us call him the Grape Rule User (or Barney) for now. Now Barney wanted to have some fun that night so he pretended to like a girl he really didn’t that night. Changed his name in her phonebook to barney <3 by adding the little heart at the end. So during the whole night he lied about his feelings to have fun. and that's all that it really is about. After being disgusted by the style of her kissing, he obviously never wanted to kiss her again, let alone look her in the eyes. so he decided to pull the legendary Grape Rule. And believe me it worked. He was never bothered by her since that night ever again.

Requirements?

There are non really. If she likes you the easier it is to pull it off. If not, well you might be able to pull it off again.

Conclusion

The Grape Rule should be used any time it is necessary to save yourself from being spammed with love notes or from ever seeing a person again that you don’t want to see. It is as easy as flipping the light switch. Just ignore everything she says, even if it hurts you. Which it obviously can’t since she is non existent for you! Let us hope the Grape Rule catches on and Marcel Kramski will be known for this thorough definition of it! Use it, spread it and make it legendary.

Source: http://arteriae.com/blog/uncategorized/grapes/