User:NCcunyevo/Troglomorphism/ClosingtheGap Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Nick Cazzaniga


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:NCcunyevo/Troglomorphism?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Troglomorphism

Evaluate the drafted changes
Throughout the article, the author does a great job with summarizing current scientific theory in a neutral manner. Using phrases like "current theory", "have yet to be well explained", and "one point of contention" gets across the current working science without portraying it as absolute fact. I found the "Caves as Evolutionary "Dead Ends" section to be incredibly interesting and summarized well for a general audience. The section really elevates the article beyond just a definition and demonstrates to the audience the importance of this niche topic.

I would suggest that the leader of the article should be more descriptive of the content that will be found with in it. Including a sentence about "Dead-ends" or mechanisms with the first paragraph will allow a reader to quickly know whether or not the wiki entry is helpful to them.

I would ask that the author add citations to the article.

I would like to see the reference to the Mexican Cave Fish be expanded beyond just the genetics. It would be helpful to describe an example of troglomorphism and its mechanism from the real world. The expanded description would give readers a concrete visual for the concept and would be an opportunity to add a cool photo to the page. This may be best housed under its own section called "Examples".

I think the most important change to the article would be to retool and reword the section "Mechanisms of Troglomorphism". I had a hard time following this section, especially the sentence "A current theory holds that beneficial traits that have been selected for, also often come with negative associations for these genes, resulting in a double positive for cave dwellers that would otherwise be selected against in surface populations." I would suggest to use a simpler sentence structure throughout this section to increase readability.

Also, within this section, I would try to "wiki link" words to other pages to give readers the opportunity to quickly look up definitions and backgrounds of obscure words.

After reading this article, I want to incorporate more of the working scientific theory in my article. The author did a great job representing both sides of the troglomorphic discussion and I would like to include some discussion in my work. It both adds to the excitement of the topic as well as more honestly represents the state and process of scientific inquiry.