User:NEHESPADAMUS/User:HannahGransden/Tomah Joseph/NEHESPADAMUS Peer Review

Link to article: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:HannahGransden/Tomah_Joseph

Student: Hannah Gransden

Peer Reviewed: Angel N. Perez-Martinez

The Lead was well put together it gave a brief overview of the artist Tomah Joesph. It does give a great introduction by giving us important key events in his life and what he does as an artist. It also does introduce his roots to the Passamaquoddy Indian Township Reservation. I would recommend to find an artwork or style he is known for.

The content you went through was well rounded throughout the article as it goes in more depth to who he is, what he is known for, who he taught how to canoe who is a important key figure in the Americas. The content is up-to-date and it does relate to historically underrepresented populations in this example the Native Americans. The only content I would try to find is there is any more artwork that is museums or in a collection that has his work and describe it. I recommend to find 1 picture to add to the article for the artwork if possible to see how it looks visual since some people tend to get captured by visuals and learn better with imagery. I think you did a good job overall with the whole information you gathered for this artist.

This is a good example of it being neautral standing, as it just stating facts on the artist life and career. You back this up by using sources and using only that information and not first person or third person pronouns like I and we, they, them. Your content doesn’t use any wording to persuade me to be honest. It is a good example as you are following the rules to a point. Good job!

The content is well written as it runs smoothly and it is spaced in a good transitional spacing. The way you order things I would change a bit to be honest to be better laid out. I would do the biography, new style, artworks, and etc. I see there is no section specifically made for your sources. I see no gramatical errors or weird wording. I would however put things gotten from other sources in parentheses “”.

There were no visuals like images or link to a video at all. I feel like an image or two would be nice especially of the artist. Overall you did a good job on this article and can’t wait to see the finish product.

Suggestions:

Find images and at least one or two more artworks and add images to at least one artwork of the work that he is most known for. Try to find a portrait of the artist if possible either a photo or drawing I feel will make it more engageful. Make a Bibliography section for your sources! Talk about if possible his process as an artist for me this is important because it tells a lot about an artist and how they function! I would love to see more information of the Native American tribe he is from like information about them.

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